My friend Jeff explained to me why he dumped his last girlfriend:
“My grandfather was sick and really not doing well,” he began, “and then he passed away. I spoke to her on the phone right after I got the news, and I was quite emotional about it. So then a week passes and she calls me and immediately asks how my grandfather is doing. And I’m like, well, he’s still dead.”
I started laughing at this point, not because death is funny, but because that response seemed hysterical in my sick, tired, twisted mind. So Jeff continued.
“I mean, it clued me off to how dense she was; ‘How is your grandfather?!?’ I mean, come on, he’s cremated. I’m pretty sure he’s dead. We burned him.”