Costa Rica: I can’t find the damn semicolon on this keyboard.

After a harrowing yet beautiful trek over every single back road in Costa Rica, I am now happily settled at my final destination, Playa Tamarindo. Within two hours of arriving, I was already in the water for my surf lesson, and I am now able to pop up and ride a wave like a pro...or maybe like a whale in the process of being beached, but whatever. I have a board for the next three blissful days, and I plan on hitting the waves both early in the morning and in the midafternoon to get plenty of practice. The byproduct of all of this activity is that I have the appetite of a buffalo, which resulted in my consumption of an entire large pizza for dinner tonight. I know the waiter wanted to make a comment, but was graceful enough to keep his mouth shut.I am going to go find ...continue reading.

Philosophy

¨We came here with big plans to do all sorts of fun things, but so far, we haven´t done a damn thing. So we decided instead to start keeping track of all the things we DIDN´T do and to use that as a bragging point about our trip.¨

Costa Rica: ¨She quit school and became a funeral director and embalmer.¨

It was another laidback afternoon in Santa Elena. I went to lunch and ate an enormous meal, which I followed with a trip to the supermercado to purchase cookies, ice cream, and beer. When I returned to the hotel at 2:15, I stationed myself in the lounge with my snacks, my forty of Imperial (Costa Rican beer), and a book. The book, however, became unnecessary, as I ended up spending over two hours chatting with a perfectly amusing Irish girl over beer, cookies, and cigarettes.When the beer was gone and my hunger started to get the better of me, I headed to the kitchen to make tortillas for dinner. They tasted decent but had the consistency of complete shit, so I took the suggestion of a few other guests and made a replica of our hotel out of the remaining dough. A particularly dry and sassy British guy was in ...continue reading.

Costa Rica: ¨I think that fruit is called a dingleberry.¨

My day of rest yesterday was marvelous. I had an enormous breakfast and then read in the lounge of my hotel for hours. When I got tired of reading, I decided to visit the local orchid garden. After selling me my ticket, the guy behind the counter announced that he would be my tour guide. I was hesitant at first, thinking that having a guide to show me flowers would be silly and unnecessary, but immediately recanted when I realized that many of the orchids were smaller than a pea. Had it not been for the guide, I would have most likely gotten the the end of the entire garden without seeing a single flower. The guide also offered to let me borrow his motorcycle for a few hours (talk about a SERIOUS lack of judgment), but I declined.To counteract the beauty of the orchid garden, I headed to the ...continue reading.

Costa Rica: “We dyed the goat blue.”

The serpentarium, while interesting, was a fairly short trip. I was able to skip most of the non-venomous snakes, if only because I had already had then as pets back home or had seen enough of them in the past to not be enthralled. However, the venomous snakes were fascinating with their gorgeous colors and their triangular heads, and the workers didn't even mind when I slipped a hog-nosed viper into my backpack as a souvenir.I spent the rainy afternoon reading my book (Caitlin: I love Atlas Shrugged) and socializing in the lounge area of my hotel. Almost everybody staying here is in their twenties, and the hotel has a distinct hippy/Rastafarian feel, which makes hanging out with the other guests while downing beers a sublimely relaxing experience. At seven, my friends from the previous evening came by to meet me for dinner, and we headed to the "nice" restaurant ...continue reading.

The Rubber Bird

Rumor has it that a few years back, unscrupulous tour guides in Central America planted a fake quetzal (a gorgeous, exotic bird) on a tree branch in a fenced-in area of the rainforest. If a tour did not result in the spotting of any interesting animals, guides would take the tourists to see the quetzal, which was just far enough away to be mistaken for a real bird.Well, the tourists eventually started climbing the fence for a closer look, and ultimately realized the bird was a fake. However, I am always left to wonder: when a tour guide points out an animal nestled far in the trees, is it real? Our tour guide last night said that the sloth had been in the same spot for three days and the vipers had been there for twelve, and that this was perfectly natural because both species are inherently sedentary. But could ...continue reading.