Kobe, Picking Up Men On Facebook
Friend: "I want that dog. He's adorable."Lindsay: "What dog? The one in my picture?"Friend: "Yeah, the one in your picture. What other dog would I be talking about?"Lindsay: "I don't know; it was just a random comment, so I figured I'd clarify."Friend: "He's absolutely adorable, what a lil' fuzzball."Lindsay: "When people tell me I have a cute dog, I never know what to say. Do I thank them? It's not like I contributed to his cuteness in any way or gave birth to him, so thanking them seems odd. But then again, saying "I know" seems wrong as well; after all, it's not like I made my shoes, but if someone says they're cute, I'd thank them.So, thanks? I'll tell him you think he's cute. He's single, if you're interested...."Friend: "I'm always interested. Also, it's not so much a compliment to the owner for contribution but for taste."Lindsay: "I figured ...continue reading.
While You Were Sleeping…
I snuggled up to you with my soft fur and passed to you a tick that latched onto your head, causing you to scream and jerk violently when you found it while adjusting your sweaty ponytail during our morning run.Love,Your PuppyP.S. You may want to consider borrowing some of my Frontline.
Fighting Forces of Nature
This is one of THOSE posts. No, Mom, not one of those alarming posts where I talk about trying to tie a knot in the end of my rapidly fraying rope. And no, Boss, not one of those fun posts where I divulge pertinent company information. There's plenty of time for those later.This is actually going to be a post about poop. I fell asleep early last night after having a few bottles glasses of champagne and neglected to take the dog out before going to bed. About thirty minutes ago, I could feel Kobe shifting around restlessly and, out of motherly guilt, I got up, threw on a sweatshirt, and dragged him outside.We circled the grassy lot behind my house several times while Kobe peed on every vertical surface, but he refused settle on a spot to poop. So here's what I don't understand: he clearly had to go, ...continue reading.
Eyes of Steel
I was out running with Kobe tonight when an enormous white dog came charging out of the darkness towards us with a ferocious bark. My initial reaction was to reach down and scoop Kobe up into my arms, an impulse that resulted in his claws imbedding themselves in my exposed calf as he struggled to stay on the ground. In Kobe's mind, he is a fierce warrior dog that is capable of battling the largest and most fearsome opponents in the neighborhood; to the rest of the non-visually impaired world, he is the equivalent of a feisty, noisy Q-tip. I knew that if I didn't get him off the ground, this other dog would carry him off in small pieces.But I was wrong. Within moments of holding Kobe up in the air, the other dog dropped into a crouch, tucked its tail under its butt, and peed right on the ...continue reading.