How To Annoy Me At Bedtime:

Posted on by lindsay
1. Wait until I've finished tossing and turning and am moments from sleep, and then let out an earsplitting yelp. Because really, the only thing that could improve upon the sound was if you were a full-fledged coyote.2. Attack Kobe while he is sleeping until he heaves himself up onto my bed out of your reach, and then cry and bark because you are now alone on the floor. Try that one more time. I dare you.3. Drag your claws along the mattress on my side of the bed because you want to be up on the bed. Do it again ONE. MORE. TIME.4. Gnaw on your foot until the clammy wet spot on the sheet is the size of Africa. After all, sharing my sliver of the bed with two dogs while Shrek luxuriates on his unspoilt half is not already uncomfortable enough.5. Snore one more time. I'll smother ...continue reading.

The Dirt Field Visits The Dirt Mountain

Posted on by lindsay
The mountain of dirt you see below has been a favorite destination of mine for the past five years. While arrangement of the dirt changes constantly, it doesn't actually appear to have any practical purpose other than to provide a fantastic view from the top. In the past, I have taken Kobe jogging up this mountain (jogging is a strong word; perhaps it could better be described as ascending sluggishly), so I decided that I would take both dogs hiking there today. Although the trip was generally quite enjoyable, there was one point when we were almost at the peak of the mountain where both Kobe and Aisha decided to amble down an almost vertical slope of dirt (shown in the above photograph) to the nearest flat area twenty feet below. What I don't understand is this: my two dogs never do anything positive in unison. They never sleep simultaneously, ...continue reading.

A Head Wound Story

Posted on by lindsay
This story is in no way funny at all to me, but I can recognize that to everyone else in the world, it will be hysterical. So while I am icing my head and waiting for the swelling to decrease, I will share with you a chuckle at my expense.I was sitting at my laptop about thirty minutes ago, reading the news before heading to bed. Suddenly, I heard Aisha cry plaintively twice, and scurry off into the bathroom. I went to see what the problem was, and discovered her crouched behind the toilet, clearly hiding. When I went to pull her out, she kept trying to back away. Sitting three feet away on the bathroom tile was a little puddle, left by a visibly remorseful and terrified puppy. This broke my heart. I know I should have been glad that she obviously knew she'd made a mistake, but the ...continue reading.

We certainly learned our lesson.

Posted on by lindsay
Ever since Aisha joined our family, Paul and I have used her crate as a place to confine her when she misbehaves. The moment the crate door locks, however, she lets out a piercing scream to alert every neighbor within a three mile radius that, (A) we have dogs in our apartment for which we have not paid deposits, and (B) we are cruel and evil parents that lock up their child. While her screaming is always obnoxious, it is especially irksome when she cries during a time-out, because it tells me that she does not understand that she has been naughty, and instead believes that she is entitled to be out running around the apartment.Tonight, however, she learned her lesson. I was relaxing in the kitchen this evening when I suddenly heard ripping sounds. When you have a puppy, the only sound worse than the shrieking of a baby ...continue reading.

The Dogs Go To Washington

Posted on by lindsay
Caitlin and I took the dogs for a walk on Capitol Hill this afternoon. As I was forcing them to sit on the steps of the House Office Building for a photograph, a woman walked by and remarked to her companion, "Look! It's a canine caucus!"