Speaking of dogs…

Posted on by lindsay
Aisha had her final puppy appointment yesterday morning at 9am. Knowing that she is pathetically unskilled in controlling her bodily functions, I did not feed her or give her water prior to the appointment. I was hoping to avoid any humiliating accidents, like the time she peed on the clipboard at the vet's office.Aisha made it safely through our time in the waiting room, and even managed to get weighed on the little vet scale without incident. However, moments before entering the examination room, I foresaw impending doom. "Ummm, I think she's about to poop," I told the unsuspecting technician, and then moments later, Aisha did. It was no ordinary poop however; this was the poop of one who has not pooped in YEARS. I was mortified.The technician, to her credit, merely smiled and reassured me that this sort of thing happens frequently. She then cleaned up the mess, and ...continue reading.

There’s ALWAYS room for more biscuit.

Posted on by lindsay
The most terrible thing just happened. Paul and his friend were going to Bob Evans for lunch, and just as Paul opened the door, Aisha bolted out. Our technique when Aisha escapes is to immediately leash Kobe and take him outside, because the moment Aisha sees him, she comes running back to bite his tender little ears. So, despite having just gotten out of the shower and being barefoot, I instantly leashed Kobe and dragged him down the stairs.Upon reaching the ground level, I saw a frantic-looking Paul and realized that Aisha was much farther away than I had imagined. Kobe and I sprinted down the street, just in time to cross paths with the evil puppy. She then circled the parking lot multiple times, nearly getting hit by a minivan twice, while I screamed at her in hopes that she would be drawn back to certain punishment and fury. ...continue reading.

A brief (not really) synopsis of the past three days.

Posted on by lindsay
Friday: After receiving last minute notice, I attended an all-day conference in DC with my boss. I began the day by squeezing my car into an impossibly small parking spot that was located farther from the Metro station than my apartment itself. After purchasing my SmartTrip card, I tried repeatedly to shove it into the farecard slot on the entrance turnstile, until a kind woman behind me noted my complete ignorance and sweetly told me to just swipe my card over the enormous, glowing SmartTrip icon on the top of the turnstile. Right.The conference was actually rather informative, although I chewed an entire pack of bubblegum and drank two cups of coffee, one glass of water, and two bottles of Diet Coke in hopes that satisfying my oral fixation would also somehow prevent death by boredom. My boss played with his Blackberry and periodically scribbled illegible notes that probably said ...continue reading.

Procrastination.

Posted on by lindsay
I have three chapters worth of finance homework due online at midnight tonight. Naturally, I have waited until today to start reading the chapters and doing the associated homework. I estimate that it will be about five hours worth of work, but I vowed that I would begin diligently the moment I awakened:5:34 am: Aisha begins barking and crying to get on the bed. I heave her onto the bed, she steps on my face, walks over Paul's head, and jumps back down to the floor.7:22 am: Kobe and Aisha begin fighting. Loudly.7:45 am: I go insane, leap out of bed, throw Aisha into her crate in the living room, and shut the bedroom door to drown out the howling.8:38 am: The howling becomes too much to bear. I get out of bed and sit down at my laptop to read the news and check my email.9:46 am: I do ...continue reading.

Good Dog

Posted on by lindsay
Aisha spent the entire morning sprinting around like she was on uppers. She gnawed on everything in sight, devoured both her food and Kobe's in mere minutes, nearly fell into the shower, and chased Kobe until he hid in the bedroom closet. Nonetheless, I didn't mind any of this behavior. She wasn't exploding in one disgusting way or another on the carpet, so in my book, she was golden.However, as I was blow-drying my hair upside down to give it body! and volume!, she came flying into the bathroom, leapt through the air, and latched onto a large chunk of hair. I immediately shrieked from the pain and surprise of suddenly having a young Shiba dangling from my head, and she dropped to the floor like a bowling ball.Enraged (and terrified that I was now sporting a lopsided haircut), I chased her out of the bathroom and into the living ...continue reading.