The Very Worst Dog In The Whole Wide World

Posted on by lindsay
In the weeks leading up to our acquisition of Aisha, I spent a lot of time worrying that Kobe would feel overshadowed and unwanted in the presence of the new puppy. I was concerned that my love would have to be split evenly between the two of them, and that Kobe would be resentful about not being my one and only anymore. It has been eight months now, and I can safely say that my fears have completely dissipated.I hate Aisha.I hate her with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns. I hate her so much that I fear that her head will explode from the intensity of my dislike. I hate her so much that I want to break into the apartment above mine, just so I can throw her off a balcony that is one story higher.Needless to say, she is trying my patience.She has boundless energy, ...continue reading.

Maternal Instinct

Posted on by lindsay
Just as I was about to get into the shower this morning, Kobe crept into the bathroom and collapsed on the bathroom rug in a trembling heap. He is normally a stoic, sweet, occasionally playful dog, so to see him trembling was largely disturbing.My maternal instincts kicked in immediately.I turned off the shower, closed the bathroom doors to keep pushy Aisha out, pulled Kobe into my lap, and held him close. To calm him down and make him happy again, I rubbed his ears and fluffed his fur while cooing that he was such a good dog. I wasn't sure if he was feeling neglected or abused by Aisha, or if she had somehow hurt him in the process of biting his little ears or yanking his little tail, but I hated seeing Kobe so obviously miserable.After about ten minutes, he was no longer shaking and his tail was no ...continue reading.

He Called It Pragmatism

Posted on by lindsay
Dad: "I'm looking at your budget here, and I see one big expense that is not truly necessary. The dog."Lindsay: "I could never get rid of him! He's a dog, not a designer purse!"Dad: "We're being realistic here. You need to make sacrifices."Lindsay: "I'd rather sever my right leg!"Dad: "Your right leg isn't costing you anything."Lindsay: "But he's my best friend!"Dad: "Your best friend is very expensive. And he's going to die in ten years."Lindsay: Horror. Silence.

Minty Fresh

Posted on by lindsay
She has been chewing the same piece of peppermint gum vigorously for the past ten minutes. I've never been more proud of her. And she smells delicious.