Pops and Pups
I'm going on a road trip this weekend, so I called my parents to ask if they'd watch my dog for me. My mother told me that she was going out of town on a business trip, but that my father would be more than happy to spend the weekend with Kobe. Now, I'll be the first one to say that my father is exceptionally capable, brilliant, loving, and amusing. He was the one who taught me to fish and shoot when I was a little girl, and the one who always drove the exciting car and wore cowboy boots and a matching hat. But he's a dad, not a mom, and certain everyday tasks related to raising children are a mystery to him. I remember one picture day back in elementary school when my mother was out of town; my father spent ages torturing my long, blond hair into ...continue reading.
Notable Things That Have Happened This Week About Which I Have Been Too Lazy To Write
- There was a television show filmed at my house the other day. I guess I'll write a little more about that when I'm feeling a bit more motivated. So that'll be, like, ten years from now.- My dog threw up on my bed and my carpet while I was at work yesterday. It was that bright yellow bile that is a byproduct of not eating, something that Kobe does on purpose when he is irritated that I have not quit my job to pet him full time.- I have worn the same exact pair of jeans to work every day this week. Nobody has said anything yet; thus, I will wear them tomorrow as well.- My father informed me that my Fredericks of Hollywood catalog was waiting for me at their house. They're those people that sell movie supplies to film crews, right? Because if not, that might be ...continue reading.
Resolutions for 2007
1. Curb my rampant road rage. If I've never run you off the road using only my high beams, my middle finger, and a string of four letter words that would make a sailor blush, chances are we've never been on the same road simultaneously. However, when I nearly give a poor old man a heart attack by making him wonder if I'm going to climb through his window and kill him with my spindly arms, it forces me to realize that maybe I should just relax a little.2. Clip my dog's toenails on a more regular basis. This may seem trivial, but it has been months since his last nail clipping, and his feet look like little porcupines. Before you shout animal abuse, realize that nail clipping is the one thing that turns my normally sweet little puppy into a rabid hyena, and that for every nail I try ...continue reading.
Another Birthday
Dear Aisha, It’s your first birthday, and I’m not even there to share it with you. If I could be, I’d shower you with hamburgers and let you rip a hole in my sock with your teeth. I’d take you to the park and let you be your hyperactive, galumphing self all over the place. I’d even let you try to climb out the window of the car while we’re flying down the highway at an exceptionally reasonable 75 mph. But I’m not there and I can’t be and I’m sorry. I remember when I first saw your picture on the Internet (you hussy!). Your breeder lived in Florida, but I fell in love with your fluffy goodness immediately and agreed to drive down and pick you up myself. When I drove away from your old house, you started crying and howling and I couldn’t comfort you – I guess ...continue reading.