Love you too, Pops.
"So am I going to walk you down the aisle? Or should you have someone else do it, so that maybe this time it will stick? You're like a farm animal...I give you away but you keep coming back."
Bobby wanted to write this title, but all of his suggestions were terrible.
Discussing meats over a lunch at Whole Foods: "I'm very particular about my meat. Gristly, fatty, weird stuff just freaks me out. I think it was the way I grew up - my mom always bought the nice, lean, high-quality stuff and it spoiled me. A few years ago, I bought a big package of store-brand chicken breasts and they were gross. I had to throw them out." "Really?" Bobby replied. "Chicken is pretty lean." I grimaced. "Nope. These were bad. For me, it's Perdue or die."
Whiner.
I feel kind of over writing this blog. Maybe I'm just being an irritable shit today. Probably, actually, but I still feel like quitting anyways. Sometimes I think it would be awesome to just drop off the Internet entirely; kill my Facebook account, unsubscribe from any mass emails, stop checking blogs and websites regularly. An analog existence actually sounds refreshing a lot of the time, and it certainly would help me avoid times like Monday afternoon, where I lost several hours to pointless surfing while avoiding a ride on the trainer. But then I'd miss the latest post on fmylife.com and then I'd probably catch fire. I've been grumpy for the past few days on and off for no discernible reason. It's annoying because I know I'm a drag to be around (I'm around myself all the time and it sucks), but I can't change the problem if I can't ...continue reading.
What An Excellent Year For An Exorcism!
For the past three years, I have begun each new year with a review of how I did with my previous year's resolutions and a discussion of my new resolutions. That sounds boring, so I'm not going to do it. Instead, I'm going to do a quick recap of the past year in list format, which saves me the time and trouble of developing thoughts and connecting them meaningfully in paragraphs. Also, it's probably less tedious for you to read. Things That Sucked in 2009 1. Grandma died. 2. My fiance left me and moved out. 3. I drowned uncomfortably at a job that tried to eat my favorite coworkers after it had chewed me up and spit me out. 4. Scout went blind in one eye, which now glows radioactively whenever it catches the light. 5. I killed every plant I owned this year (four of them). 6. The military ...continue reading.
Martha St(ew!)art
After Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house, I was standing in the kitchen as they packed up the leftovers. I opened a drawer to put back a pen I had been using and saw a small pink plastic brush in a box towards the back. The brush was clearly leftover from my days of playing with dolls, and was probably meant for a Barbie or other small toy. "Why do you still have this thing?" I asked my mother, as I impulsively began combing the brush through my hair. "Oh," she replied, "I use it to brush the fringe on the throw rug in the foyer."
This is long and somewhat depressing. Enjoy!
Hello there. It's been a few days, a lot has happened, a lot of it has been a crapload of suck, so let's get caught up and back on track with the whole regular posting thing. Kelley Acres Race Report I was going to do a full report on this event, but I procrastinated and then Grandma died, so it went by the wayside. To summarize, I spent the days before this race feeling dread and doom yet again. The Saturday night before, I even broke from my standard pre-race teetotaling and had a beer, and then ate my feelings in the form of fifteen Nutter Butter wafer cookies and three servings of candy corn. It was ugly. The morning of the race was spent agonizing over whether or not to go (including a sobfest in the car after arriving at the venue and registering), until I finally decided I would ...continue reading.