I baked to fill the empty feeling…

Posted on by lindsay
...but all I got was an entire bake sale worth of cupcakes and muffins: This whole death of a close relative thing is weird. I knew it was coming - Grandma was 85, in very poor health, and eager to move on to bigger and better things - but that hasn't made this a whole lot easier. I felt good for a lot of yesterday; I knew she was finally at peace and it was sort of like a long exhale after holding a breath for several months. But then when I ran out of things to do with my family last night and came home to an empty, silent house, it started to feel depressing. I spent the next several hours making five different types of baked goods and eating an entire cake's worth of batter, but that just left me with a stomachache and  too many muffins to ...continue reading.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Posted on by lindsay
My grandma and my iPod both died within the last 12 hours, but when we had exactly enough eggs this morning to make both breakfast and the muffins I was planning to bake, Bobby noted, "Looks like today is going to be one of those days where everything just works out." Grandma, if you are reading this somewhere, you're probably shaking your head because I can't keep from slapping my personal life on the Internet. But just know that I mean well, I miss you so much, and I am really glad you are no longer trying to set a record for the longest-running resident of hospice care. Rest in peace, and know that we will never forget you and that you are very much loved. I feel so lucky to have had you as a grandmother.

On crosses and candles.

Posted on by lindsay
My grandmother is dying. She has about a million things wrong with her health at this point, and even though she has proven to be incredibly strong and resilient, each day that goes by is a day in which she gets a bit weaker and a bit closer to the end. This past week, she moved into a hospice care center where she will spend the rest of her fading life.The funny part is that she is has been through so much and yet still she survives. As a family, we've all said our final goodbyes a half dozen times, we've planned for and expected the worst, and we've heard multiple bits of bad news about her health from doctors who are certain this time will surely be the end. I even stayed up late one night last week, crying and waiting for the call from my father. And yet ...continue reading.

Flattery

Posted on by lindsay
My mother's new driver's license photo is not exactly the most flattering. It could best be described (and was, by both Bobby and me separately) as looking like she is headed to her own execution. When my father saw it for the first time tonight, his watch started beeping at exact same moment. Without missing a beat, he looked at the license and said, "Uh oh, that's the ugly alarm going off."

(5) Days of Summer

Posted on by lindsay
When I first left my job, I had big plans for how much fun Bobby and I were going to have together. There was talk of making a list of fifty "must-do" activities, and we planned to make each day our own version of a summer vacation. That didn't happen. There were some good times, but more often than not the days would either creep by in a swamp of apathetic boredom or fly by in a whirlwind of crossing off to-do list items. The lack of money also scared us into trying to be cheap. Once I found a job and had an official start date, though, we got serious and decided to go all out for my last week of not working. Each day was going to have an agenda and we were going to cram as much excitement into that week as two people reasonably could. The ...continue reading.

A Night To Remember

Posted on by lindsay
This past Tuesday was the first night of the year where everything outside was snowy and beautiful, so despite being exhausted from working all through the previous night and having just finished a training ride, I convinced Bobby to come walk the dog with me. It was just after 11pm when we finished getting ready to go out. I was the last one out the door, and as it slammed shut behind me, I realized I hadn't checked to see if the bottom lock was unlocked. [Bobby maintains that I wasn't just a passive victim of the door; he thinks I flipped the lock out of habit and let it shut before I could fix my mistake. Honestly, I was going on three hours of sleep and twenty hours of almost non-stop working, so I could have burnt the house down without realizing it. How the door got locked and ...continue reading.