Somehow this funny little story turned into post from CareerBuilder.

Posted on by lindsay
My most recent project at work has been the particularly mind-numbing task of reformatting and editing forty-seven resumes that are going to be included in a proposal. Resume formatting is horribly boring and repetitive, so to pass the time I've started actually paying attention to the content of the resumes. It amazes me to see the kind of poorly-written tripe people put in the document that is intended to represent the sum total of their professional selves. Some resumes are obscenely long, detailed, and impossible to follow, while others describe entire years spent doing a job using a single bullet point. The best resumes (and by "best", I mean the most likely to entertain people around me) and the ones with objective statements, because 95% of the time, the statements are pointless crap. Exhibit A:"To utilize my education and professional experience, while increasing my leadership abilities, to contribute towards achieving ...continue reading.

Dr. Dolittle

Posted on by lindsay
On my way to work today, I was inching through traffic on a two-lane highway exit ramp when I saw a tailless squirrel scampering in the grass alongside my spot in the left lane. The squirrel kept darting closer and closer to the road, and I was worried that he would bolt under my car at any moment, or cross safely in front of me only to be hit by a car in the right lane. I stopped as much as I could (which the person behind me enjoyed a lot), but finally had to roll down my window to yell, “Go! Go away! Get back from the road!” Because I like shouting at rodents from my car. Being a squirrel and all, he didn’t take my advice and got as far as scurrying along the asphalt two feet away. I looked around for something in my car to throw ...continue reading.

On being a grown-up.

Posted on by lindsay
I start a new job tomorrow. That’s a good thing; it means a paycheck coming in again, a reason to finally take off my ratty grey tee shirt, and an obstacle to come between me and non-stop eating. It could also be a great opportunity at a great company working for what seems to be a great boss. Lots of great things. But I can’t say I’m thrilled by the prospect of going back to work, mostly because when I left my last job, I swore the next one would be something more in line with what I want to do with my life. Something involving biking or writing or food or creativity or ANYTHING other than more proposals. And yet my new job title is Proposal Writer. Somebody recently reminded me of the quote, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” and ...continue reading.

To Make A Long Story Short.

Posted on by lindsay
I don't work anymore. Not today, at least, or yesterday, or next Monday. I loved my boss, I loved some of the people I worked with, but I loved racing my bike more. Also, managing proposals was very challenging. The end.

Scarlet Letter

Posted on by lindsay
The bathroom at my workplace is located just off the lobby of our floor, which means that any visit requires a thirty second walk from my desk. I don't mind, but occasionally, once a month in particular, that walk can be long and scary. Today was the realization of my worst nightmare. Let's be honest here. I'm female and of reproductive age, which means I have a monthly need for feminine products. Tampons, to be specific. [I hate that word, I hate writing that word, I hate saying that word...UGH.] Picking up my purse and walking to the little girl's room would be an obvious announcement to my coworkers, so I've taken to subtly placing a single tampon into a sheaf of folded papers, scurrying to the bathroom, and leaving my colleagues none the wiser. It was an unpleasant moment the other day when a senior vice president and the ...continue reading.

Ups and Downs

Posted on by lindsay
Last Friday was a crazy day at work. I won't even try to describe everything that happened, but suffice to say that if the day had ended with finding my car entirely filled with fluffy rabbits, I would not have even blinked. One event, however, was especially noteworthy.Towards the end of the day, I wanted to make a personal phone call, so I grabbed my cell phone and my key card and took the elevator down to the lobby. It was around seven o'clock by that point, but there were still enough people around the cubicle farm that is my workspace that I preferred to make my call somewhere more private. After I finished, I got back in the elevator, flashed my key card on the electronic pad to select my floor, and waited. Nothing happened.[The keycard is designed to enable the keyholder to access only their floor after hours. ...continue reading.