The Dirt Field

1. Clip fingernails/toenails 2. Bring fish to eat 3. Pluck anything 4. Taxidermy 5. Microwave breakfast meats 6. Hang artwork you have done yourself 7. Pick your nose in meetings 8. Set up a sleeping bag in your cubicle 9. Actually use the women's restroom 10. Keep a diary in your desk

I am a proposal writer (proposals = where creative writing goes to die) and this past Monday, my company had an important proposal due at noon. Fred, one of the company executives, insisted on delivering the proposal and showed up in our office at 11am to pick up the package. He waited while the proposal team sprinted around like we were on fire, putting documents in binders and shoving everything into the large Staples box that was being used for delivery. Once the box was packed, several of the writers struggled to wrap it in brown packing paper. By that point, we had less than an hour until it needed to be delivered to a location thirty minutes away, so one of the proposal managers panicked and snapped, "Somebody needs to go with Fred in the car to finish wrapping the box." I was standing nearby holding the Mapquest directions, ...continue reading.