The Boss

Posted on by lindsay
My boss at my last job was a good friend, but one who often said and did some of the most ridiculous things. After calling him a 'caricature of himself' a few dozen times, I started a Twitter account to keep track of his best contributions to each day. He loved it and would laugh every time I would ask him to stop for a second so I could write down his latest insanity. We don't work together anymore, so I'm closing down the Twitter account and moving the content here: The Boss is looking for a job. "I need a job where I don't have to read and I don't have to write." The Boss is not having any fun: "All of these meetings make me want to crawl into a hole and DIE." The Boss freaked out on Sunday a la Britney Spears and shaved his head. He didn't ...continue reading.

Things I did not expect a girl my age to tell me today at work.

Posted on by lindsay
I love Hooters! My parents have been taking me to Hooters every Friday since I was eight. It was bad because we'd walk in and the Hooters girls would already have my parents' drinks ready. Since I was picky and wouldn't eat anything off the menu, my dad would ask for this thing for me called a Hooters sandwich which was basically wings and a bun and mustard. I was a pro at the hula hoop that they had there, although I don't think I was the demographic that the customers were hoping to see. One time we had to leave early because they started the Hooters bikini contest and you had to be 18 or older to be there. They put tarp over the windows. I still go there with my family.

Eating Disorderly Conduct

Posted on by lindsay
I had one slice of apple pie a la mode after dinner and now I'm thinking about putting on my heart rate monitor and jumping on the bed until I burn a slice of pie's worth of calories. Jesus, these are some serious issues. Eating has always been a sensitive subject. I love to eat, and while I have a generally healthy diet, I also have a sweet tooth and the periodic inability to stop putting food in my mouth. Add in all of the training (which increases my appetite enormously) and the pressure to be competitive on the bike (the more I have to carry uphill, the slower I go), and I struggle constantly with my eating. Am I eating enough? Am I eating too much? Am I feeding my muscles or overstuffing my gut? Am I actually hungry or am I just craving? AM I OUT OF MY MIND? ...continue reading.

Delegation

Posted on by lindsay
There was an executive board meeting at my office last Friday. Around lunchtime, one of the meeting attendees came out of the conference room and walked the 50 feet it takes to get to my office door. He asked me to ask the receptionist (who sits 200 feet down the hall) to bring the group some forks. This man works in our office. He knows the kitchen where the forks are kept is located 40 feet from the conference room. Instead of getting them himself, he preferred to walk further to get to my door to ask me to ask somebody else to come from even farther away to bring him forks.My surprise was plastered on my face as I echoed, "Forks?"The man looked annoyed. "Forks. You know. Eating utensils?" He pantomimed eating.Apparently I give off the impression of being a moron."They're in the kitchen," I replied pointedly. "Here, I'll get them ...continue reading.

Updates that probably warrant their own posts.

Posted on by lindsay
1. I am getting married in several months. 2. Evidently, I have anxiety regarding racing that has phobia-like qualities. 3. Despite several recent bouts of nice weather, I cannot bring myself to stop using the trainer for all rides. 4. The mice are still alive. They run on their wheel for approximately 75% of each day. The wheel squeaks loudly 100% of the time that it is in use. I am down to 0.01% of my original desire to own mice. 5. I am leaving my current job this Friday and starting a new one on Monday. 6. For the first time in my life as a dog owner, I wished fiercely that I would come home to a pile of poop on the floor today. No luck. 7. These are my new favorite shoes: http://boutique.vanillabicycles.com/product/the-pit-boot

Not the post I planned to write today.

Posted on by lindsay
I'm working from home today, because there is snow on the ground and I see no point in wasting excessive amounts of  time inching along with the millions of people in this area who are unable to drive their vehicles in snow. I was chatting with one of my supervisors on instant message about a meeting that was scheduled for today and suddenly he interjects that the other supervisor (aka, the zombie shooter from an earlier, now redacted, post) was informed that her picture was on my site and is now pissed. I nearly choked on my latte. For the past four years, this site has been largely anonymous. Sure, you know my name is Lindsay and you know the names of my pets and my close friends, but you don't know where I work or the names of the people I work with. That's intentional. I don't want to ...continue reading.