Dear Miss Demeanor
Life, Love, Lust, and Law School
Dear Miss Demeanor,
A friend recently created a MySpace account for me, and it’s begun to consume my life. I’m fairly certain I’ve electronically investigated at least a quarter of the human population. Where do I find the time to waste? Simple: I’ve stopped studying, eating, sleeping, blinking, and going to the bathroom. Should I be concerned about any reproductive ramifications arising from my self-imposed urination deprivation?
-Soon to Be Incontinent Individual
Quite frankly, your biggest concern should not be reproduction at this point. I love MySpace as much as the next gal, but people who are seriously addicted to such websites should not be allowed to bring spawn into the universe, if only because it means they will spend the rest of their lives posting hundreds of cute and sparkly pictures of their offspring online under the mistaken impression that the rest of the world is interested. That being said, you should be concerned about more immediate implications, such as urinary tract infections. While holding your fluids may not directly lead to such fun little gifts as infections, it will at least increase your chances of getting an invitation to that particular party of pain. So do yourself a favor: back away from the computer, drink some cranberry juice, and pee. When you’ve taken those steps, try going outside and realizing that there are real, live people around you who are more genuine, interesting, and interactive than anyone you’ll find online.
Dear Miss Demeanor,
I’m a single 1L who is interested in dating a number of fellow 1Ls. Are there any good rules of thumb I should observe when dating classmates in law school? I’m not really looking to pursue anything serious or long-term, but I also don’t want to get a reputation.
-Lecherous Law Student
My personal philosophy is that mixing business with pleasure can be a good thing – but only to some extent. Imagine this: you find yourself lusting after Tom from Torts (and Contracts and Property and Econ, coincidentally) so you pursue him for a few weeks. When that fire has cooled, you then decide to date Peter from Property, followed by Colin from Contracts and Ethan from Econ. And then you’re the village bicycle and nobody wants a ride anymore. Don’t dig yourself that hole. Be patient, wait until you find a classmate that you truly like and want to be with for more than a few minutes, and make your move. Until that day, cast your wide net outside the school and avoid picking up a nasty reputation. Why do you think Adams-Morgan and Georgetown are so busy on weekend nights? Go forth, shop freely, and just pretend to be innocent on Monday morning.
Dear Miss Demeanor,
My roommate is driving me nuts. I want to strangle him with my bare hands every time he opens his mouth. I know he is just trying to be friendly, but he lurks around the apartment and tries to hang out and make conversation constantly, even when I am clearly trying to study or watch television. Moving out is not an option right now, so what should I do to make the next few months more tolerable?
-Potentially Homicidal
Not everybody is good at reading people – I’m sure you’ve met kind individuals in the past that needed a lecture on social graces so badly it hurt. Your roommate appears to be one of those lucky few, which means you have two options. You can either ignore the problem until you reach the end of your rapidly fraying rope and kill him (which may put a damper on your blossoming legal career) or you can talk to him now. It may not be an easy conversation, but for both your sake and his, it is one that needs to be had sooner rather than later. Think of it as a public service – you help him realize that some people need more space than others and give him parameters for when you want to be cornered into conversation, and he’ll learn valuable skills that will prevent more painful situations like yours. You’ll be doing his future friends and roommates a service, and it will save your sanity in the meantime. Once you’ve had the talk, go back to being your normal aloof self and just hope for a change. If he doesn’t improve, just remember the old story about the icicle being the best weapon…for mediation.
Need advice? Write to AskMissDemeanor@gmail.com.