7/23/24

Posted on by Lindsay
Dear Pops, We joked that you would outlive us all and I guess I leaned too hard into that one, so you had to be obstinate and go the other direction. Now I think the end is here and I’m glad for you, because this has been a long, miserable road that has slowly robbed you of too much. It’s okay to go now. We’ll be fine and it’s time for you to head up to heaven and start rearranging their dishwasher. But before you go, I want to make sure you know that I am so proud of the person you’ve been and will spend the rest of my life being grateful that you were my dad. We had our clashes, sure, and sometimes I still smirk about the absurd fights and think you were a total asshole, but you probably feel the same way about me and that’s ...continue reading.

Till Death (Or the KOM) Do Us Part

Posted on by Lindsay
Love is a beautiful thing. So is cycling. But what happens when you try to mix the two – even more beauty? Well, not exactly. My first recollection of riding with Josh was on a hard group ride; the bunch surged up a hill and then I saw this guy, this total dingle, wildly cut a line across the front of the peloton. “Who the hell is that sketchball,” I wondered irritably.  He’s my husband now. They say most relationship conflicts involve money, sex, or division of household labor. But for cyclists, there’s a fourth thorny issue that might trump them all: riding. Find me a couple including at least one cyclist where riding or bikes never come up in a heated moment and I will find you a snowman in the Sahara. Maybe your partner doesn’t ride and doesn’t understand why you spend so much on bike stuff. “Our budget does ...continue reading.

Perspectives. Written for ProCycling Mag.

Posted on by Lindsay
“You must be so sad about the team ending,” said yet another person, adding to the heap of sympathetic responses that’s been growing for months. Lying feels disingenuous, but I suspect nobody wants to hear the truth: I’m mostly just relieved. After four wonderful but incredibly long and challenging years, shutting down the Hagens Berman Supermint Women’s Pro Cycling team will feel like stepping away from wrestling a cantankerous, heavy octopus.  “All good things must come to an end,” I always reply with an appropriately sad smile. This team has been an amazing experience – for me, the staff, riders, fans, American cycling – and everybody touched by the end of something beloved needs time to grieve. Maybe I’ll suddenly be struck one day by an outburst of sobs in the grocery store. Maybe my grieving happened in the brief tears shed following Hagens Berman’s announcement that the money wasn’t ...continue reading.

Supermint, Class of 2019

Posted on by Lindsay
After four great years and facing the challenging of finding a new title sponsor, I decided instead to end the program on a high note. I sent the following message to the team on July 1: Team, This is a hard email to write but better to say it here than try to jumble out the words in person when we all know I’d cry. After considerable thought, I’ve decided to fold the team at the end of this year. We’ve had incredible success and grown into an organization that has truly left a mark on American pro cycling. This has been the most incredible adventure with the highest highs, the biggest laughs, the most exhausting challenges, and hundreds of moments and inside jokes I will never forget. Clams. Snarfblatts. Check that drip. The Viking. I could write an entire encyclopedia of our memories. But behind the scenes of this ...continue reading.

Everything you (n)ever wanted to know about pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum life for athletes

Posted on by Lindsay
I’m 13 months postpartum after giving birth to a healthy baby girl in February 2018. It’s been a long ride from the time I found out I was pregnant, in June 2017, until now, when my kid can pick up and chew Cheerios on her own and my body vaguely resembles what it was before the whole process began (while clothed, at least). This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, mostly from a mental perspective. I went from being a professional athlete in full control of my body to being entirely taken over by another human. Then I got to start raising that human in the outside world while reshaping my body back to what it was before. Or trying to, at least. Truthfully, there is no coming back unchanged from pregnancy. Along the way, I ended up racing a mostly full season, which was a gift. At the ...continue reading.

On the occasion of your first birthday

Posted on by Lindsay
Dear Caroline, A year ago today, we had our first moment together. I heard your crying and the sound - a sudden surreal mewling, like somebody was powerwashing a small, furious cat - brought me instantly to tears. The nurse brought you around the surgical drape to my head and I pressed my face into your skin. You were damp, warm, and so soft and I was instantly and permanently attached. And now it's been a year. Generally you're still pretty warm and soft, and often unfortunately damp. Children are a sticky, slimy, drippy business but they have a way of making you love them so much it doesn't matter. I've eaten yogurt out of your hair, wiped your nose on my sleeve, caught your drool with my fingers without hesitation. Parenting in the first year seems to be mostly fluid management combined with anxiety over the sudden realization that ...continue reading.