Aisha spent the entire hour from 5:30am until 6:30am today pacing around the bed and crying at the injustice of not being able to get down on the floor to pee, pester Kobe, and chew on everything not nailed down. I remember the nice, peaceful mornings of my life prior to February 11th, when Kobe would climb into bed and burrow under the covers and sleep next to me until my alarm went off. Now Kobe stays firmly on the floor and glowers up at me from his bed, silently begging PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY JUST LET ME RIP THE FUCKING SQUEAKER OUT OF THIS OBNOXIOUS FLUFFY TOY.
Out of desperation this morning, I forced Kobe under the covers with me, where we literally hid from Aisha, who was biting and clawing any visible patch of flesh/fur. She cried and pounced and cried and pounced, until she passed out from misery and exhaustion. Kobe and I cowered under the bedspread and tried to be as still as possible for almost twenty relaxing minutes, so as to not disturb the beast. Alas, Kobe eventually slithered out onto the floor, and despite my best efforts to remain perfectly motionless, Aisha was immediately awakened. She then resumed crying and pacing, which is how I have now been awake for the past three hours watching the snow fall.
The thing that kills me is that Aisha is now sound asleep, snuggled into the bedspread like a pig in a blanket.
Prior to Aisha, there were mornings when Kobe would get up on the bed and walk on us until we would wake up and pay attention to him. This was annoying as shit, but we would always repay the favor by tormenting him while he was napping during the day. He’d be nestled on the couch, and Paul and I would sneak up and pounce, yelling, “YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT? YOU LIKE THAT? HOW’S IT FEEL? HUH? HUH? NOT SO GREAT TO BE WOKEN UP, NOW IS IT?” and cackling maniacally.
It’s a two-way street, bitch. Don’t get too comfortable over there.
