For the past three years, I have begun each new year with a review of how I did with my previous year’s resolutions and a discussion of my new resolutions. That sounds boring, so I’m not going to do it. Instead, I’m going to do a quick recap of the past year in list format, which saves me the time and trouble of developing thoughts and connecting them meaningfully in paragraphs. Also, it’s probably less tedious for you to read.
Things That Sucked in 2009
1. Grandma died.
2. My fiance left me and moved out.
3. I drowned uncomfortably at a job that tried to eat my favorite coworkers after it had chewed me up and spit me out.
4. Scout went blind in one eye, which now glows radioactively whenever it catches the light.
5. I killed every plant I owned this year (four of them).
6. The military does not want me.
7. I started a new anti-depressant. This could fall under the “Sucked” category, since the reasons for deciding to start medication again were not happy reasons, or it could be considered a “Good” thing, since it’s like a positive step or something. My therapist would probably be peeved to see that I’ve settled on putting it here.
8. I exercised bad judgment. That description will have to suffice.
9. Racing cyclocross became too mentally taxing, so I bailed in early October.
10. Bobby’s contribution to this list: “You left a huge, irreparable stain on the carpet in the spare room.”
Things That Were Good in 2009
1. I paid a lot of money for a free, middle-aged, overweight dog. He turned out to be many different flavors of awesome.
2. The (5) Days of Summer were a lot of memorable fun.
3. My fiance came back (but remains self-demoted to boyfriend status).
4. I was gainfully employed for the majority of the year, while many people were not (or so I read while surfing the Internet all day long at work).
5. My carelessness led to accidentally cashing out my retirement plan early, resulting in a large check appearing in my mailbox. Whoops. And also, score!
6. I folded 1,000 origami paper cranes. I also learned that one can fold just shy of 30 cranes per hour while riding a stationary bike.
7. I only visited the emergency room once.
8. I hosted the first annual Log Posse Weengiving Dinner in November and acquired my first pair of homemade, bejeweled underwear. There’s a story and a post behind all of that, but Hello, Laziness.
9. It was a good racing season. I was the Kenda Cup East Champion for my category, I had a lot of podium finishes, and I completed the Shenandoah Mountain 100 in 11 hours, 11 minutes. And I did all that while only crying before 50% of my events.
10. I discovered that slathering Bag Balm on my saddle region really improves the quality of my life. Or at least the quality of my bag.
11. Nobody else close to me died, I had great times with my friends and family, I didn’t get hit by a bus, it snowed a lot in December, my carbon footprint probably shrank, whatever, so on and so forth.
If I did not include something that you feel was good about my year, I mean no offense. It was undoubtably a wonderful contribution to the parts of 2009 that did not suck, and I just can’t recall it right at this moment. Mom, I am certain you are going to add your own list of positive things to my comments. You go on with your bad self.
In the breaking of the year-end post tradition, I’m also not going to bother doing any New Year’s resolutions. Sure I have goals and shit, but I’m not going to come up with anything specific that will become a to-do list item that stresses me out. This year, I’m just going to do whatever the hell I want and to hell with the rest.
Happy New Year!