During the past week, I have haphazardly emailed my resume to every possible job opening that seemed feasible, ranging from “Seeking Part-Time Legal Assistant” to “Psychics Needed! Work from Home!” I finally get a call back today from Tracy at TRAK Legal Placement Services, who left me a perky message asking me to give her a call. I figured she wanted to set up an appointment to talk about what I want for a job, so I returned her call while I was dodging traffic on my way to lunch:
“Hi Lindsay, this is Tracy, how are you doing?”
“I’m well, thank you, and yourself?”
“Great, thanks. Tell me, what has you looking for a new job?”
[Well, Tracy, I thought it would be the fucking awesome to quit my job and live off of love and peanut butter. Why do you think I am looking? I’M UNEMPLOYED and prayer has, thus far, not paid my bills.]
“I decided to leave my current position to find a part-time job that would be more conducive to my school schedule.”
“Okay. What field were you looking to work in?”
[You are holding my resume and calling from the LEGAL placement agency where I had specifically sent it. Doesn’t that seem to be a pretty safe indicator that I want to work in the LEGAL field?]
“I was leaning towards a legal position, such as a legal assistant or legal secretary. I am trying to start law school this fall, and I would like to stay within the field.”
“Why the legal field? How do you know that this is what you want to do?”
[At this point, I’m becoming irritated. These are completely ridiculous questions. I have just finished telling her that I PLAN TO START LAW SCHOOL SOON which to any normal person would CLEARLY INDICATE THAT I AM CERTAIN ABOUT MY INTEREST IN LAW. How do I even answer this?]
“Umm, well, I have worked in the legal field and taken law classes as part of my undergraduate studies, and I’ve really enjoyed both. So I guess I just know, you know? It’s like, umm, a feeling?”
[Now I sound like a fucking idiot. I might as well have told her that I consulted my tarot cards and they told me to be an attorney.]
At this point, the conversation turns to her telling me about a job that actually sounds promising. I transition from wanting to strangle her for asking inane questions to wanting to give her my first-born child. I have a meeting at 11:00am tomorrow to discuss things further.