1. Why do I see so many people riding bicycles with a helmet dangling from the handlebars? People, it’s not like garlic and vampires, where just having the stuff somewhere on your body will keep you safe. You actually have to put the helmet on your head to make it work.
2. At the race last Sunday, I had my leg marked with a large, black “15” to signify my racing category. I have showered a time or five since then, but the marking still remains quite prominent on my calf. So why have none of my coworkers bothered to ask why I have “15” drawn on my leg, despite the fact that I ran around in a knee-length skirt with no tights all day? Am I such a weird new girl that a marking like that doesn’t even raise questions?
3. Jason’s Deli chain offers dozens of extremely unhealthy dishes (with 40+ grams of fat per serving, and one potato dish with 148 grams of fat), yet tells customers to “Please Eat Responsibly” in a cute little blurb on the menu. Does eating responsibly mean eating elsewhere?
I'm pretty sure that Jason's is telling you that if you eat the potato for 148 grams of fat that you should not eat unlimited amounts of the free ice cream. That would be responsible eating, right?
I'm pretty sure YOU'RE the alien, now. They're probably afraid you'll yell at them (oh wait, that's just children) or maybe they're too busy talking shit about everyone to notice. Maybe they didn't say anything because the want talk about it behind your back!
Coworker 1: "Why does Lindsay have a 15 drawn on the back of her leg"
Coworker 2: "I heard that's how many years she did in prison. Or wait, maybe it was how many people she killed. I don't remember. Whatever you do, don't ask her. She'll probably kill you next."
And about Jason's Deli. EWWW! I've never in ALL of my life seen a single menu item that was THAT BAD! 2300 calories??!! In a potato! OMFGWTF!