“What the hell is happening outside?

I’ve seen snow, sleet, rain, and beautiful sunny skies in the past thirty minutes. What’s going on? God must be a woman — men are never this indecisive. Seriously, let’s pick some weather and stick with it. I’m glad I don’t have [disease name omitted so as not to offend any readers] because I’d probably have bitten off my tongue by now.

Ridiculous.”