The Dirt Field

The Race: Speed Week Spartanburg Criterium
The Course: 50 laps, 4 corners, some wind
The Field: Pro 1/2/3 women
The Finish: 9th

After winning at Walterboro, I was flying high for that night and through most of the following rest day. I hugged my podium flowers, made jokes about wearing the winner’s jersey to bed, and generally basked in excitement. And then by last night I remembered that I am me and that means I don’t just look a gift horse in the mouth, I give him a full dental exam. Thoughts like, ‘now I have to keep doing well or people will be disappointed in me’ and ‘what if that win was just a fluke’ took over. It culminated in anxiety tears over lunch at Olive Garden today, which is ridiculous. The only reason to cry at Olive Garden is because the food is terrible.

I did my regular warm-up (which usually hurts more than the race, because why not get the worst over with early) and then waited for my call-up as 4th overall at Speed Week. This has not lost any of its thrill. Complete strangers hear my name and watch me pedal 10 feet to the line! If only that could have been the final trip to the line for the day.

My plan for Spartanburg was to stay in the field until the end and then sprint it out. I came to Speed Week to learn and while winning out of that break was possibly the highlight of my life thus far, it also helped me avoid that which I dread the most: Ye Olde Field Sprint. When your field involves the top crit racers in the country, it’s tempting to avoid duking it out with them by getting away early, but it means missing the chance to work on positioning and sprinting in the end. That’s where I need the most practice, so I knew I needed to stay quiet in the field and wait for the end of the race.

That’s how it played out. Attacks and breaks came and went, primes were chased, and I rolled around placidly at the back. Sometimes I had to work a little when the field got moving, and a few times I went towards the front to make sure I was able to move around, but mostly I did absolutely nothing. At three laps to go, I started to move up, and at the beginning of the last lap I found myself on the front setting a moderate pace. Midway through the backside of the course, Tibco started to move along with the other big players, I lost some places in the last two corners, and then navigated a narrow, somewhat busy final sprint to land in 9th place.

I was instantly disappointed. I won the last race! Doesn’t that mean I will go on to win everything ever, including the lottery and the biggest stuffed animals at every carnival?? There were multiple facets to my disappointment: the result was not the number I wanted, the finish didn’t play out how I wanted, I rode a boring and overly conservative race that did not really pay off. Nevermind that it’s still a top-10 at an NCC race and that I’ve worked hard to come this far and should probably spend a little less time hating me.

After hearing some much-needed wisdom from the kind and wise Laura Van Gilder, I still had to cry it out like a big girl, take a deep breath, and get a serious grip on reality. I am here to learn. I tried something different today and it didn’t quite pay off. I know what to work on for tomorrow. The result was not bad. This is just bicycle racing. Some days will be the best ones ever and the rest of the days are the necessary ones that come in between.