“Anchorage, Alaska: A great place to go someplace else from.”
“You people were born in the eighties? Ah, that’s wild.”
“I would be a Hello Kitty cellphone.”
Discussing value: “Business slogan: We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you.”
Discussing investments: “You ever pay $1800 for a cat surgery? Oh, you’re not married. Well, we got a dog and a cat for free from the shelter. The dog stays inside and the cat stays outside, although apparently not far enough, because last Christmas Eve the dog got to the cat. Unfortunately, the kitty was still alive when we found it. So the vet says, ‘You want to remove the leg and save the cat’s life?’ I tried to argue that the cat would be defenseless and eaten by predators, but the vet said, ‘No, the cat can get along fine with three legs; the forth is just for aesthetics.’ So I had to pay for the leg to be removed.”
Discussing prices: “I was considering taking a teaching position at a university in North Carolina, and they were pitching the position to me by arguing that the cost of living in the area would be much lower than what I was used to in California. I pointed to them that, by admitting that the costs were so low, they were basically acknowledging that it was an undesirable area and that nobody wanted to live there unless it was absolutely necessary.”
don’t forget
kitty disappeared soonthereafter!