Coworker: “I was making sales calls today when I reached a secretary that didn’t seem willing to connect me to the person with whom I wished to speak. I decided to lie and tell her that I had just spoken with him yesterday. She then informed me that he was deceased.” [Long pause.] “I guess I’ll take him out of the database.”

I rarely see my boss during the workday, and when I do see him, I am almost certainly doing something unprofessional and unproductive (sleeping, giggling, eating, or a combination of all three). Thus, when I saw him leaving the building at around six this evening, I wanted to find some way to get him to notice that I was also just leaving. He, however, got into his car and drove away, completely oblivious to my presence. Caitlin pulled up next to me at the nearest intersection, rolled down her window, and said, “If you wanted to get his attention, I was going to suggest that you involve him in a minor collision.”