I am going camping tonight. OUTSIDE. UGH.
This is my friend’s idea and because she is my oldest and dearest friend, I agreed. This is the same friend that laughed when I cried out of fear of roaches, though, so perhaps this is all a glorious set-up engineered to make me hugely and hysterically uncomfortable.
I do not camp. Being outside is great. I love outside. But when I am ready to sleep or take off my pants, I like to go inside. Camping to me is like, “Hey! Let’s grab the calendar and pick a few nights where we don’t want to sleep!” The last time I camped was for the Shenandoah Mountain 100 race, and I had just managed to doze off when somebody let me know it was already time to wake up by yelling WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME, BITCHES though a megaphone. I love the sounds of nature.
Because I do not camp, I have Googled the following things in the last 12 hours to help me prepare:
- Campfire foods
- Easy campfire foods
- Sleeping bag
- Weather in Davis, WV
- Hypothermia
- How to stay warm while camping
- Sleep in car
- Mast cell tumor dog elbow
That last one is not related to camping; it is related to Scout. He has a concerning lump on his elbow that I noticed last night and am now going to worry about until a vet tells me everything is fine. In the short term, however, I have bigger concerns. Namely, the weather today in Davis, WV:
This sounds like wonderful weather for a cozy night spent indoors. But instead, I am going to sleep in a bag on the ground outside in the woods. And I am doing this on purpose. FOR FUN. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THE WORLD.