Since life is still kind of kicking my ass and any post I’d write this week could be summarized with the sound WAH-WAH, I’m going to do a slightly more useful post.

Several people have asked me lately about how to start cross racing if you’re a mountain biker that does not plan to buy a cross bike. That was me last season; cross was supposed to be nothing but more training for my cross-country season, so I didn’t bother throwing down the cash for a cross bike or taking it too seriously at first.

[Pointer #1: Cross will suck you in. The spectators are better (as in, there actually are some), the prizes are better (as in, there actually are some), and the atmosphere at events is kind of like a party that smells like fried food, excitement, and cold air. By the end of last season, I was so excited about racing cross. This year, not so much, but that gets back to the whole WAH-WAH thing, and let’s just not go there.]

Anyway, because I raced the entire season on my mountain bike, I now have people asking me for pointers on how to do the same while they dip a toe in the cross pool. I am all for encouraging anybody to try cross, so without further ado, I give you my tips:

Pointer #2: Change your tires. If you are on a 29er, this is easy. Just find a set of wide cross tires and they should fit on your mountain bike wheels. I use Mavic C29SSMAX wheels and had trouble finding cross tires that were wide enough to meet the minimum tire size recommended…so I ignored the recommendation and nobody died. Not yet, at least. Just get the widest tires you see and slap ’em on there, because no matter how fat those cross tires are, they’ll be anorexic compared to your mountain bike tires. Skinny tires will be much faster, making any stretch of the course infinitely less painful. I did not learn this lesson until the last race of the season.

If you are still riding 26″ wheels, I don’t know what to tell you, other than to ask WHY? Say it with me now, “The Big Revolution.”

Pointer #3: Watch out for roadies, because they have tactics to their riding that we mountain bikers often do not. I cannot tell you how many times I would look behind me on long stretches of the course to see some coy roadie tucked in behind my wheel. Don’t always be the sucker who gives everyone a free pull.

Pointer #4: You have a granny gear on your mountain bike. Embrace it. Love it. I greatly enjoyed riding the intended run-ups on my mountain bike while hoards of cross-bike riders were pushing their bikes up the hill behind me. Be proud that your teeny-tiny ring gives you an advantage; use it proudly.

Pointer #5: There is no coasting in cyclocross. In a mountain bike race, you are in the woods with the birdies and the squirrels for a few hours, so there is plenty of time to fly along with the pedals motionless. There is no such thing in cyclocross. If you stop pedaling on anything that is not pointing directly downhill, people will eat you alive.

Pointer #6: People will eat you alive anyway. The races are short, intense, and tactical. Be prepared and practice the dismounting, remounting, and cornering in your spare time. The humiliation you will face when your neighbors see you jogging around with your bike is nothing compared to the humiliation you will face when a fellow competitor says of your racing, “Funny thing is that she was sooooo bad on the rest of the course it was almost humorous.” (Personally, I thought the funnier thing was that I still won.) Don’t be that person – learn the moves and it will make racing smoother and more fun.

Pointer #7: I broke convention last year and carried a water bottle on my bike during races. Not a big one or a very full one, but one that was there when I could think of nothing but my thirst. Us mountain bikers are used to having a few bottles of energy drink, a backpack filled with ten gallons of water, and several meals worth of jellyish products during a race. The shock of going cold turkey can be painful, so at least bring a little fluid to ease the pain.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I hope this helps you feel more comfortable showing up at events on the odd duck bicycle. Don’t let your lack of cross bike or skills slow you down. Get out there, give it a try, and there’s a damn good chance you won’t regret it. Okay, you’ll regret it for 40 or 45 minutes, depending on your racing category, but then afterward, when some dude wearing tights and holding a cowbell hands you a beer and some frites, you’ll realize that a vacation to another discipline is a very good place to be.