The Dirt Field

Bobby and I ride with a group of friends that are collectively known as the Log Posse. We met them in the later part of 2008 and have been riding, eating, drinking, and being very loud and highly inappropriate with them ever since. They’ll be coming up in future posts (and were also giving me a hard time about not mentioning them sooner), so I’d like to introduce you to each Posse member.

Arne:

Arne is the founding father of the Posse. He’s ancient (circa 1300 BC) and wise and if I have a question about what bike to buy, how to refinance my house, or how to overcome crippling depression, Arne will have an answer. He also has heard of every musical artist since cavemen (probably his old neighbors) banged sticks on rocks to make rhythmic sounds. Arne has a slight obsession with promptness, with unsurprisingly conflicts with my slight obsession with being late.

Nicky:

Nicky is like a badass, metalhead cheerleader. You meet her and she seems sweet and perky, and then suddenly she’ll come out with some of the most outrageously awesome, not-fit-for-printing-here profane things. She is also extremely rubbery and resilient – no crash dampens her spirit, even if said crash results in a hole in her body in which you could store a grapefruit. Petite Nicky is married to toweringly tall Arne and keeps both him and their gigantic Great Dane in line using nothing but iron fists.

Steve:

Steve is truly a snowflake; I’ve never met a more unique person in my life. He is an exceptional biker who is afraid of nothing and immune to pain. Steve will try riding over any log, any rock, any cliff and will do so until he rides it successfully, even if he finishes with ribs poking out of his torso. He also likes to buy bike parts at deeply discounted prices, collect everything in the Universe in his Man Room (and parade each item out for a show-and-tell when we go to his house), eat unbelievable amounts of cheese, pass gas regularly (likely related to the former), and remind me that I am on THIN ICE for not riding with the Posse enough. There is not enough space in this post – no – this Internet to adequately describe Steve, so I will stop here.

Jenny:

Jenny only rides a mountain bike when absolutely required, but is an active member of the group and also the one most likely to reorganize your refrigerator, plan your birthday party using a color-coded Gantt chart, or understand how to turn your discarded eggplant crate into something gorgeous for which I would happily pay $50 to have in my home. Deep down, I think Jenny is my twin sister, except more ladylike and with better style and taste. Jenny has been dating Steve for six years, despite his early attempts to falsely convince his family that Jenny was trying to steal their good silver.

Mike:

Mike knows literally everything: the name of the lead singer of that obscure band from the 70s, the chemical compounds in cyanoacrylate, the color of the underwear you wore last Thursday, and everything else in between. This talent has earned him the name “Factard” and the hatred of anyone trapped in a Trivial Pursuit game with him. Mike is also evidently able to buy a bicycle wheel for every day of the year, although that claim has not been tested. He doesn’t often ride with the Posse, but the guy can haul ass down a mountain when the urge moves him.

Amy:

Amy is the newest member of the Posse, but also one of the most enthusiastic riders. If anyone anywhere mentions the prospect of riding, she’s in, even if the offer is to ride over hot coals or to ride through dung-filled swamps. Amy also likes to collect injuries and scars, and recently extracted a long thorn from her leg that had been imbedded from a ride three weeks earlier. She also enjoys poking campfires.

Bobby:

Bobby is no stranger to this site. The Posse calls him FunChip because he will dig through any serving of tortilla chips, both in the privacy of a home or in the public space of a restaurant, just to find oddly-shaped chips. When it comes to riding, Bobby likes to shave years off my life by trying to ride whatever insane thing Steve just rode, whether that is a five-foot high log pile or a unicycle. Lately the Posse has developed a fondness for watching Bobby wiggle his pectoral muscles.

Lindsay:

Yeah, whatever, this whole site is an endless introduction to me Me ME, I don’t think you need any more. If somebody else from the Posse were to write my bio, they’d probably say something like “Lindsay likes to ride her bike ALONE WITHOUT THE POSSE [which is not true; I just have to train a lot], Lindsay eats a lot of weird, healthy food, Lindsay likes fancy or fruity beers, and Lindsay is always late.”

Each member brings their own charm and unique qualities to the group and when you put all of us together, like last night at a Mexican restaurant in Bethesda, the combination is hysterically funny and deeply offensive to anyone nearby. At the risk of being superbly cheesy (although Steve would probably enjoy that), I am so glad to know these people and be part of their group. They’re those friends you can’t imagine not having at your wedding, the friends who will take you out to dinner when you have a crappy week, who will show up at your first big race of the season to cheer you on, and who will be delighted when you fart in public.