I was forwarded a complaint by a client today in which the client had said, “LINDSAY DON’T KNOW HER ASS FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.” Yes, he used all caps. And yes, he said “don’t know”, because “doesn’t know” would have required two additional letters, which would have prevented him from complaining about me that much sooner.
Fortunately, my boss discussed this with me, saw exactly how rude and difficult this client has been, and immediately came to my defense. But this whole week has been one thing after another that makes me want to climb into the mouth of a hungry shark, and being told that I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground is insulting, no matter how unwarranted. I’d love to take pictures of the aforementioned ass and a hole in the ground and send both of the pictures to this client with a messaging saying, “See? I DO know the difference!” but I’m too mature for that. Instead, I’ll just crap in a box and ship it to his office anonymously. And who can blame me? I’ll just say I thought it was dirt from a hole I’d dug in the ground.