I have found a job through TRAK Legal Placement Services (the organization where I interviewed yesterday). Beginning next Tuesday morning at 10am, I will be the legal assistant to Mr. Nicholas H. at H. & R. in Vienna. I will work 30-32 hours a week, based around my school schedule, for a wage that I did not think was possible to earn while fully clothed. Mr. H. also has no problem with me potentially leaving for law school in August.
There has got to be a catch.
But for now, my only regret is that I did not find a job herding sheep in Wyoming. Shit. Better luck next time.