The Dirt Field

Ever since I started running lately, I’ve noticed a substantial increase in my desire to eat constantly. Each morning, within moments of getting out of bed, I devour a Power Bar, go running, and eat my Cheerios with sliced bananas and yogurt. I then get ready and go to work, and within minutes of sitting down at my desk, I immediately start eating the lunch I brought from home. Once that is gone, I spend an hour snacking on candy pilfered from the marketing room before going out to lunch. Upon returning from lunch, I take a twenty minute break and then start snacking again, until it is time for my afternoon popcorn break. Then I go home, munch on the contents of the pantry, eat dinner, swear off food entirely, have a Chai from Starbucks, start sampling condiments from the fridge, have dessert, and then go to bed, eagerly anticipating the next Power Bar.

I think I need help. I can’t stop eating – I think at this point I’m so accustomed to chewing constantly that I have to keep shoveling things in or the gears will break. I’ve already eaten the entire contents of my desk, Caitlin’s desk, and Drew’s desk, and I don’t think either of them have any intention of replenishing their supplies. At my lowest point today, I actually admonished Caitlin for throwing away a bag of visibly rotting carrots that were in my desk waiting to be eaten. Well, actually the TRULY lowest point was when I fished them out of the garbage and huffily stowed them back in my drawer.

I won’t even tell you about the part where I started eating them.