The Dirt Field

It is no secret to those who know me well at work that entire days will go by in which I do little more than forward a single email or look up a small piece of data. It’s not that I am completely unmotivated to work; I just don’t have anything to do. I was therefore quite surprised when my boss pulled me aside a few weeks ago to tell me that he was bringing in a temp that would report to both of us and help take over some of my work. Needless to say, I was relieved to hear that I would FINALLY have an assistant who could take care of forwarding that one email for me.

Fast forward to today.

I was sitting in the lunchroom at work this afternoon, reading a book and eating a bag of delicious microwave popcorn. It was about 3:30, and there was absolutely no explanation for my break, other than utter laziness. Naturally, my boss came into the lunchroom to fill his coffee at that exact moment. I figured I was caught; there was no way I could make it look like I was doing anything even remotely productive.

He said hello, and I casually responded by offering him some popcorn, acting as if it were perfectly normal to stop working midafternoon. After a few moments of awkward silence during which he hovered over my table, he asked me when I was starting law school. (Because clearly, the answer may have changed since we had this discussion last week, even though it has been the same answer the last six times he has asked me.) He then paused for a moment and asked me if I’d consider deferring law school for a year and taking the full time position in our department that has been open for months now, a position for which I am in no way even close to qualified.

I told him I’d think about it. I’m also thinking that I am going to show up for work tomorrow drunk and naked, and see if they try to give me my own office in the executive suite.