Life is short. Knowing this, being aware of my own mortality and the fragility of my existence, I make certain choices. I know you may not agree with them, but I do what I think is best to maximize my potential happiness on a daily basis. They always say to live each day like it is your last, and I could not agree more fully. Which is why I ate all of the peanuts from the tub of caramel corn you bought. I’m sorry. You told me that I should not pick through the popcorn to find the “pieces of goodness”, but I simply wasn’t getting enough by eating it the traditional way, so I used a bright light to search through the popcorn and fish out all of the delicious peanuts. I’m not a bad person, really. I’m just efficient and practical. It’s the same way with cookie dough ice cream – who wants to eat all of that ice cream just to get out the balls of cookie dough? Not me.
Please forgive me.
Love,
Bavarian Creampie