Southern VA...you can count the population of teeth on one hand.
Dear Kobe,
As I prepare to embark on my drive to Delray Beach, Florida today, I felt that I needed to give you a message. I know you can't actually read this (either that, or you're exceptionally good at keeping your comments to yourself), but I'm hoping that Paul will read you this while I'm gone.I know you can sense that something big is coming (about eight pounds, actually). You've been moping about, listlessly chewing your rubber shoe, and heaving huge, heavy-hearted heffalump sighs against the other side of the closed bathroom door. I know you are worried. Don't be. No matter what happens, you'll still be the pup that sleeps under the covers with his head on my pillow. No matter what happens, you'll still get first pick at the McDonald's drive-thru. You've been my #1 man for over three years now, and that has meant a lot to me. So ...continue reading.
This is where I’m going tomorrow.
"Two Charged in 'Curious George' Slaying"Thursday, February 9, 2006; Posted: 5:16 p.m. EST (22:16 GMT)"BOYNTON BEACH, Florida (AP) -- Two South Florida men have surrendered and confessed to killing Alan Shalleck, who collaborated on bringing the beloved children's story of the mischievous monkey "Curious George" to television, police said Thursday. Rex Spears Ditto, 29, of Pembroke Pines, and Vincent J. Puglisi, 54, of Oakland Park, voluntarily surrendered late Wednesday at the Boynton Beach Police Department. They were arrested on charges of first-degree murder, armed home invasion, aggravated battery and dealing in stolen property, police said."They came in ... and confessed to robbing and murdering this guy," Sgt. Gladys Cannon said. Both men were being held in the Palm Beach County jail.A maintenance worker found Shalleck's bloodied body Tuesday covered in garbage bags in the driveway of his home. He suffered several stab wounds and was stuffed beneath a heap of ...continue reading.
There’s no “I” in team, but there’s an “I” in “Shit, our egg broke.”
Because I am a senior in college, this is how I spent my upper-level management class today. I worked with my group of five other classmates, and used the contents of the provided ziplock bag (straws, string, paperclips, one piece of tape, popsicle sticks, and rubberbands) to create a device that would prevent our egg from breaking when dropped from the second floor of the parking deck. Surprisingly, our contraption worked, and we received five points of extra credit for our success. That, however, was small change compared to the absolute joy and enthusiasm displayed by my teammate upon discovery of our victory. You would have thought we had discovered the source of eternal youth buried under a sea of gold and precious gems.
The King and I
On my desk this morning, among other little notes from my boss, is this particular gem. The important thing is that he can at least recognize that he writes in an ancient script only legible to him, but I can already imagine that this task will prove to be challenging.So I open up the folder on which this note is placed, locate the yellow tab, and find this: I'm thinking it is Arabic, but it could also be Greek, or perhaps Aramaic. It also appears that he composed these notes while possessed by an angry demon, or while he was parachuting out of a jet that was passing through a hurricane. The only thing of which I am completely certain is that this will be impossible.Other than moments like these, I like my boss. He is actually funny, in his own weird, spastic way. He makes these random jokes, like ...continue reading.
Oh What A Night
While I was out with North Korea on Saturday night, I was offhandedly informed that the Super Bowl was scheduled for today. Not surprisingly, that was the first time this major bit of news had found its way under the rock where I live. When I woke up this morning (afternoon, actually), I had a voicemail from my parents inviting me to a party in their neighborhood. Despite my supreme disinterest in football (that's the game with the big men heaving the little pointy ball, right?), I accepted the invite. Let me digress for a moment and introduce you to the world of my parents' neighbors. Picture Desperate Housewives meets Friends, with a side of Sideways. There are about six couples in the little 'group', and they all love drinking, eating, drinking, gossiping, drinking, socializing constantly, and drinking. Not to say that they imbibe to excess - just that they ...continue reading.