Real Women Love Curves

Posted on by lindsay
I just got back an exam in my Retail Management class. Out of seventy questions, I answered forty-seven correctly. Forty-seven. That's a whopping 67.14%, which is a solid D. I immediately soiled myself from anxiety and crushing defeat, until the professor announced that the high score was a forty-eight, and that he was going to consider that to be a 100%. In translation, my forty-seven out of seventy is now equivalent to a 97.92%. Upon speaking to the professor after class (like the true grade-grubbing dork I am), I was assured that I was "golden" and "had done quite well".There is something inherently wrong with this situation. How can a professor commend a student for only knowing slightly more than half of the material already taught in the class? Don't get me wrong; I'm pleased with my A, because from my demented perspective, it's not about the learning, it's about ...continue reading.

Wait – you’re saying there’s no market for yak milk?

Posted on by lindsay
I have a finance exam in three hours, so naturally I am just reading the textbook for the first time now. I'm learning about discounted cash flow valuation and future value of cash flows and I come to the following problem:"Finding the Payment: Suppose you wish to start up a new business that specializes in the latest of health food trends, frozen yak milk. To produce and market your product, the Yakkee Doodle Dandy, you need to borrow $100,000. Because it strikes you as unlikely that this particular fad will be long-lived, you propose to pay off the loan..."Surely there was a more probable product they could have chosen. I mean, come on, do yaks even produce milk? Is it biologically possible to obtain milk from a yak? Does a yak even have udders? More importantly, would one ever want to milk a yak? And even if you answered yes ...continue reading.

Monday’s List of Irksome Things:

Posted on by lindsay
1. Aisha's ability to control her need to utilize the entire apartment as a bathroom is in serious regression. This has resulted in a series of Resolve-soaked land mines spread around the apartment, and a continual scavenger hunt to determine the source of any off-putting smells. 2. I have a racing stripe down my nose as a result of a friendly good-morning swat from little Vampire Claws. Being that I am the palest person on Earth, the scratch stands out in stark relief and gives me a certain je ne sais quoi.3. My gun safe will not open, even though I am absolutely certain that I am putting in the correct code. The problem lies in the fact that the gun is locked outside of the safe. When I first discovered this situation, I (oh-so-responsibly) left the gun lying on top of the safe for the night, surrounded by colorful ...continue reading.

Oh, also, this.

Posted on by lindsay
I might add that I am at home right now because I no longer work at the law firm. As of this morning, I am back in the fluffy bathrobe on the couch, waiting for my buddy from the legal placement agency to call and rock my world. So what happened?Apparently my school schedule was too much for the Boss. Although he knew perfectly well that I was going to have to leave at 11:15 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I guess he did not actually realize the implication that I WAS NOT GOING TO BE AT MY DESK ON TUESDAY AND THURSDAY AFTERNOONS. Once this occurred to him, he could not tolerate it, and as of this morning, he notified the temp agency that he needs somebody new.Fuck.Quite frankly, I'm happy to not be going back. It did suck when I first got off the phone, and I did cry ...continue reading.