The Dirt Field

The wonder of rubber fingertips from Office Depot. As Sinatra would say, "What a world, what a life, I'm in love!"In other news, on this same Office Depot trip, my boss had instructed me to replace our inferior office staplers with more effective versions. I called him to verify that I had made a good choice, and was told to "go back and find staplers made by Germans."

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (January 19). The grand gesture you make next month cements a deal and also becomes a legendary part of your personal story. Sensational moves on the job are rewarded in March. June and July are your money months. When you don't know how to best use it, hold on until you feel certain in August. Pisces and Aries people are fantastic partners. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 42, 30, 4 and 17.So what I'm getting from this is that your February ski trip with your coworkers is going to be a fantastically memorable time...either that, or you and I are set for a wacky night of wrestling on my front lawn, followed by a fabulous slice of Uno's oreo cheesecake.

As it is a pseudo-Monday morning, I have decided to take a moment to reflect on the events of the past week; unfortunately, this reads like an endless succession of nights of liquid debauchery. I think I need to curtail my evening activities, and make an attempt to add more nights that involve knitting, my bathrobe, and the couch. By my calculations, this is my last week in statistics:Number of hangovers: 5Number of drinks consumed: 19Amount of money spent on drinks/food: $169.48Number of bars/watering holes frequented: 8That's sad. I feel pathetic. My nice winter coat permanently smells like it has a filthy three pack-a-day habit. From now on (or at least until Friday), I am going to sloth it at home and drink only soy milk. On another note, Hi Mom and Dad! Welcome to my blog. I suppose this is not a particularly heart-warming first read for you; for ...continue reading.