#christhater: still winning as the most questionable race hashtag

Posted on by Lindsay
The Race: Chris Thater Memorial Circuit Race The Course: 36 laps of a just under 1-mile loop with a small uphill/downhill section The Field: Pro Women The Finish: Jen on the podium in 3rd, me in the Transitions Out-of-Sight jersey for the longest breakaway I wrote the Team Colavita press release for this race and that took a few minutes of real hard work and I can't let that effort go to waste, so instead of writing another report on the same event, I'm going to reuse that one. Recycling! So good for the Earth. And good for the time I'd rather dedicate to playing Dots. "Team Colavita's sprinter Jennifer Purcell landed on the podium in 3rd place after a solid display of teamwork at the NCC Chris Thater Memorial Race in Binghamton, NY this past Saturday, August 24th. Throughout the 30-mile, 36-lap race, teammates Mary Zider, Jamie Dinkins Bookwalter, and Lindsay Bayer ...continue reading.

Dogs, Part 536 of 3,054,523

Posted on by lindsay
Today was my day to sleep in. No, my life is not by any means particularly strenuous, but when I plan a day to sleep in, when I take the time to anticipate the delicious ecstasy that is prolonged slumber, I don't want to be forced awake any earlier than absolutely necessary. This morning, however, at exactly 7:22am (which was two hours and thirty-eight minutes before I was scheduled to be assaulted by my alarm), I was awakened to discover that my puppy was not only hyperventilating, but that she had also vomited on the down bedspread mere inches from my bare flesh. This bit of indigestion was probably not a direct result of eating my cell phone charger yesterday (rendering it completely inoperable), but in my intense irritation, I could not help but find a correlation.The dogs then spent the next hour loudly quarreling on the floor while I ...continue reading.

Another Unsavory Post

Posted on by lindsay
Why is it that both of my dogs not only perform a lengthy circling routine before relieving themselves, but also leap about wildly and excitedly upon completion, as if to say, "GOOD LORD, WOMAN! DID YOU SEE THAT? I JUST TOOK A FANTASTIC CRAP! I FEEL EXCELLENT!" On this most recent outing, I also happened to be wearing my bathrobe. Okay, so that's not a significant occurrence...to be honest, if it's after 10pm or before 11am, I always wear my bathrobe and my Uggs to walk the dogs, regardless of whether it's a short trip downstairs or a lengthy stroll around the neighborhood. Generally, I see absolutely nobody, and can convince myself that nobody notices the crazy lady who walks around in her bathrobe. Tonight, however, I was confronted by a person who came out of his townhouse, startling both Kobe and Aisha, who responded by bolting in opposite directions. ...continue reading.

Back in the saddle again.

Posted on by lindsay
I agreed to take a temporary position at Caitlin's company today. This opportunity was first mentioned last Friday, when Caitlin told me to expect a call from her company regarding the position. Said call did not come until this morning, when I received a voicemail asking me if it would be at all possible to come in and start training today. The woman who called did not once question my credentials, ask to meet with me, mention salary, or discuss responsibilities or hours. Either Caitlin had already credibly informed her of my splendor, or the job is so appallingly trivial that the woman just didn't care. When I returned her call, I was informed that the job would be dull (I think the words she used were "basic data-entry") and the hourly rate was embarrassingly and non-negotiably small. Naturally, smelling money in the air and an opportunity to further delay ...continue reading.

Will Work For Processed Cheese (Her, Not Me)

Posted on by lindsay
The big news of today was that I started training Aisha. Although the last two weeks have been so full of "learning experiences" that Aisha now thinks her name is AISHANO!, I figured it was about time that she learned to sit, stay, and come on command. So armed with small bits of American cheese, we worked on sitting and staying, but with only minimal success. The thing about Shiba Inus (and I swear this is not an excuse for my incompetence as a trainer) is that they have selective listening skills. For example, if I am brandishing a steak, Kobe will sit, shake, roll over, and do my laundry with only a single command. But if he is not in the mood to listen, say the time I was screaming and crying hysterically for him to COME! COME! as he was sprinting into oncoming traffic on Route 50, he ...continue reading.