Step away from the keyboard.

Posted on by lindsay
In a fit of boredom last week, I did what I have done so often recently and posted an ad under the "Strictly Platonic" section of Craigslist.org. This time, however, instead of merely asking bored individuals to help distract me from playing pick-up sticks with the company promotional pens, I decided to ask people to give me advice on my writing. I linked them to this site and invited them to be harshly critical. I'm a big girl, I figured, I can take some constructive criticism. I received a few responses from well-meaning individuals who said I was amusing and all, but could benefit from a more relaxed or less offhanded tone and a decreased use of big words. These suggestions were definitely valid and I am certain that I could use them to better my writing, but I realized that I write pretty much exactly as I speak, and ...continue reading.

Insomnia

Posted on by lindsay
I woke up this morning at 2:13am, and realized that I was still fully dressed and sprawled out on the couch with the lights on. Deciding that this was no way to spend the next six hours, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and climbed into bed. Then I laid awake for an hour.Finally deciding to do something about my sleeplessness, I started reading with my little booklight while Paul snored next to me. After another hour passed with no signs of drowsiness, I got up and made a snack in hopes of eating myself to sleep. It was during this snack (at 4:26am) that I decided to seize my inability to sleep as the perfect opportunity to watch the sun rise from the dirt mountain. It was either that, or start carving happy faces into my legs with the potato peeler as the insanity of insomnia set in.My ...continue reading.

Task Ten: Rollerblading to Purcellville (a mere 42 miles)

Posted on by lindsay
The last task I discussed was task seven, which was the one with the personal ad contest. Since then, Caitlin and I have also completed task eight, which was to read The Da Vinci Code, and task nine, which was to not drink soda for a week. I did not write about either of those because, quite frankly, they just weren't interesting enough. However, we decided that this weekend was the perfect opportunity to complete our tenth task, which was to rollerblade from Ashburn to Purcellville down the WO&D; trail.We started out at around 9am from the parking lot of our work, which is situated about 500 yards from the trail. For the trip, I brought a small bag in which I had water, sunscreen, a few snacks, a phone, and a pair of flip flops. Caitlin brought a large backpack in which she had water, sunscreen, many snacks, a ...continue reading.

A Burning Question

Posted on by lindsay
While out running tonight, I passed by a stand of trees that smelled as if they were on fire. I stopped to investigate the source of the smell and noticed that the mulch surrounding a certain tree was smoldering and producing a substantial amount of smoke. This tree was a mere ten feet from the back of somebody's apartment, so despite the late hour, I knocked on their door.A small Asian woman answered the door in her nightgown, and followed me outside to the tree. By that point, the mulch had actually ignited, and small flames were licking at the base of the tree. She saw the fire, made a little "ooohhhhhh" sound, and then stared at me. I pointedly suggested that she might want to call the fire department, to which she looked back at me blankly and asked, "Do you think I should?" "No," I replied. "You should ...continue reading.

I ate a live bat for dinner, okay? Stop looking at me like that.

Posted on by lindsay
I had class tonight for a solid, painful, dragging three hours. This is the second time this week that I have had this class, and both times, I have suffered the embarrassment of having my stomach emit a cacophony of unusual and loud noises. I'm certain you've been there at some point; you're in a meeting or a class and suddenly an ungodly noise issues forth from your torso. You don't know if anyone else heard, but just to be on the safe side, you turn horribly red, as if to confirm to EVERYONE around you that you were indeed the producer of the noise.During both of my three hour class sessions, my stomach and I have argued violently. I'm not sure exactly why - the noises sound as if I am moments from dying of starvation, but it could also be a far sinister cause as well, one that ...continue reading.

Cementing My Professional Image One Mishap At A Time

Posted on by lindsay
Today was an especially long and dull day, and by midafternoon I felt my eyes closing and my head drooping down onto my keyboard. I did a mental inventory of the possible places in the building that I could safely and surreptitiously sleep for twenty minutes, but drew a complete blank. As with any issue that presents itself at work, I immediately ventured to Caitlin's desk.Upon my arrival, she suggested that I try sleeping under her desk while she worked. I know how stupid this sounds now, but at the time it seemed brilliant and cozy. I was exhausted and I had a new tee shirt that had just been Fed-Exed to me by a vendor that was going to make an ideal pillow, so I scrunched up under the desk and crawled beneath her feet. Because of the layout of her cubicle, the position of her chair, and the ...continue reading.