Be Careful What You Wish For.

Posted on by lindsay
While driving home from dinner at my parents' house with Paul last night, I wistfully looked out at the torrential downpour and remarked, "I really feel like just laying outside in the rain." At the time, it just sounded pleasant and relaxing - and also not something that I was actually going to do.Shortly after making that comment, we came to a blocked section of the road that forced us to take a detour. I chose to take a road that runs parallel to Route 50 in order to bypass multiple traffic lights, and was almost home when I plowed into a puddle. The puddle turned out to be a lake, and my car died immediately. (In my defense, it was dark and it was pouring, so I couldn't really see far enough ahead to detect the depth of the water.) I was unconcerned at first, until I rolled down ...continue reading.

Craigslist.org: Ugly Shirt For Sale: Available After I Take It Off Today.

Posted on by lindsay
When getting dressed this morning, I had an exceptionally difficult time choosing an outfit. I was certain that I wanted to wear jeans, as it was casual Friday, but I couldn't decide what to put on top. After much debate, I settled on a tank top that would be both appropriate for the workplace and would also allow me to exist outside without perishing from the heat and humidity. Unfortunately, the shirt I chose is a hideously bright shade of orange that screams color in every direction. (Well, I think it's orange. Somebody else voted for red, and another vote was cast for coral. However, all votes were in agreement that, specific color name aside, it's just a visually offensive garment.) Were I a toasty golden tan color, it might look appealing, but I am nothing of the sort. On my ghastly pale torso, the effect is similiar to the ...continue reading.

A Subtle Story.

Posted on by lindsay
Caitlin [11:34 AM]: Oops.Caitlin [11:34 AM]: I'm still chuckling.Caitlin [11:34 AM]: I'm glad it wasn't anyone else. She's really the only person I could have said that in front of without being fatally embarrassed.Lindsay [11:36 AM]: I SO want to put that sentence online.Lindsay [11:36 AM]: "I think this might be the Thai talking."Caitlin [11:37 AM]: I give you full rights to use the sentence but might murder you if you tell the story.Lindsay [11:38 AM]: I wouldn't dare. You might actually be compelled to chop my hair off.Caitlin [11:39 AM]: Or start my own blog chronicling your less-than-sophisticated moments.Lindsay [11:39 AM]: I have nothing of the sort!Caitlin [11:39 AM]: Oh wait, you already do that.Lindsay [11:39 AM]: Exactly.Lindsay [11:39 AM]: I've even discussed my physical aversion to popcorn. You couldn't possibly shame me any more.Caitlin [11:41 AM]: My favorite part about the last little episode was knowing that when ...continue reading.

Tsunami

Posted on by lindsay
While preparing my tea in the company lunchroom this morning, I realized that the water cooler was completely empty. I was in the middle of a conversation with Caitlin and another coworker of ours when I made this discovery, and I decided to just quickly change the five-gallon jug myself. I hauled the new water jug across the lunchroom to the cooler, and proceeded to remove the large plastic cap.Seeing what I was about to do and noticing that I was teetering around on little high heels, my coworker offered to help me. “What,” I snapped. “Do I not look manly enough? Do you think I am not capable of doing this myself?”He backed off immediately and continued to chat with Caitlin. I heaved the water jug up to the cooler, positioned it to fall neatly into place, and flipped it over.Water gushed everywhere. I somehow got the top of ...continue reading.

My best offer:

Posted on by lindsay
"Just for the sake of curiosity, would you consider something in trade for this, either partial or full? On offer I have the following: 1. Your choice of 3 children, all girls ..... 'nuff said2. Giant rabbit that loves to eat garden plants, ensures weeds have plenty of space to grow ..... just needs to be caught3. Hornet's nest, about the size of an orange ..... ripe for the picking, should get you some practice for law school!"Unfortunately, the folks at the Apple store did not want to give me a MacBook in exchange for a large rabbit, so I had to settle for another offer that was paying in cash. Life is full of difficult choices.

Craigslist.org: I have contracted the plague and must sell my 15″ Apple PowerBook

Posted on by lindsay
Okay, so perhaps it's not the plague, but it's almost as bad. I am starting law school this fall and because they think we're all savages PC users, they only offer their exam software for PCs. Thus, I need to buy a PC software-friendly MacBook, which means selling either my husband or my current laptop. I was forced to choose the one that would fetch a better price.The laptop is a 15" PowerBook. It has a 1.25 GHz processor, an 80GB hard drive, and 1GB DDR SDRAM (2 512 KB cards). It has a CD-RW/DVD-ROM drive, AirPort Extreme, and all the other standard Apple features. This laptop will come with a brand new copy of the Tiger OS for you to do a clean install with the latest operating system.Why you should sell your kidney to buy this laptop: It is in great condition with only a few scratches on ...continue reading.