Raining On My Parade

Posted on by lindsay
After spending seven hours surfing today at Virginia Beach, I was dismayed to notice that I had acquired an unattractive and angry sunburn on the backs of my legs. However, I am not one who often tans at all, so I announced to my surfing companion that I was going to wear a miniskirt tomorrow to showcase my new color.She responded snidely, "People are going to think you're, like, infected."

Ebert and Roeper Give It The Middle Finger

Posted on by lindsay
I decided to forego homework tonight (shocking!) in order to relax and watch the movie Silent Hill. In retrospect, my evening would have been better spent in the quiet room at the library with my Property textbook and my highlighters. Or being eaten by red ants.It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I'd explain the basic plot to you, but (A) I could write five thousand words on it and it still wouldn't make any sense and (B) I'd rather die than relive the experience. By the time the credits rolled, I wanted to punch my fist through the screen, grab the main character, and kill her myself. The painful, gruesome deaths that befell everyone else in the movie were not good enough for the lead actress, who spent two hours of my life running around and making terrible choices. ("Oh my! My child has nightmares about ...continue reading.

Dear Paul,

Posted on by lindsay
Life is short. Knowing this, being aware of my own mortality and the fragility of my existence, I make certain choices. I know you may not agree with them, but I do what I think is best to maximize my potential happiness on a daily basis. They always say to live each day like it is your last, and I could not agree more fully. Which is why I ate all of the peanuts from the tub of caramel corn you bought. I'm sorry. You told me that I should not pick through the popcorn to find the "pieces of goodness", but I simply wasn't getting enough by eating it the traditional way, so I used a bright light to search through the popcorn and fish out all of the delicious peanuts. I'm not a bad person, really. I'm just efficient and practical. It's the same way with cookie dough ...continue reading.

Mmm…Rancid Beverage

Posted on by lindsay
I went to the local kabob place for lunch today, and ordered one of everything because I was (a) unable to commit to one particular dish and (b) still high from getting my tuition surplus refund check. I wasn't feeling particularly thirsty, but there was a drink on the menu called doogh that was described as being a "homemade yogurt drink". It sounded sweet and creamy, and was only $1.95, so ordered it. I couldn't help but wonder, however, why it was so inexpensive. Now I know.It was disgusting. Nobody could possibly want it.It tasted like sour yogurt and cucumbers blended together into a thin liquid. It seemed more like something that would be in a vial at a gynecologist's lab or used to marinate a shank of meat - neither of which are things I'd ever want to sip over ice.I did not finish it.There was also a small ...continue reading.

Obstinance

Posted on by lindsay
After the student organization happy hour and the Arlington campus welcome barbecue yesterday evening, I decided to go running with one of my classmates. I'd been drinking and eating heavily for the previous three hours (it was FREE FOOD, which to a law school student is the equivalent of hearing "YOU'VE JUST WON THE LOTTERY. TWICE."), so running seemed like a natural conclusion. We embarked from Arlington at around 8pm.The first part of the run went quite well, especially if you consider the fact that I was surrounded by my very own atmosphere of alcoholic air. We ran past Arlington Cemetery and the Potomac River, and stopped to visit FDR's memorial, the Reflecting Pool, and the Lincoln Memorial. My energy was waning as we strolled through Foggy Bottom a few hours later, but when my friend suggested taking the Metro back to Arlington, I staunchly refused. In my warped mind, ...continue reading.

Digging Furiously At The Rock Bottom

Posted on by lindsay
I decided to focus on catching up on my reading for school last night, so at 11pm I settled down onto the futon with my book and my highlighter and immediately dozed off. When I awoke a few minutes later, I realized that there was no chance of successfully studying as long as sleep was an option. So like any sane person would do, I packed up my books and drove to IHOP at midnight.The combination of the coffee and the pancakes kept me awake through two hours of reading, which might very well be a personal record. However, by around 2am, I became absolutely overwhelmed by exhaustion and decided to head home. I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex feeling slightly revived by the drive, so I propped open the door to my car, set up my highlighters, and vowed to finish another section of the ...continue reading.