Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

Posted on by lindsay
As my three week hiatus from life draws to a painful and wholly undesirable close, I feel the need to reflect back on a few bad habits and addictions that I've acquired in this time.1. Recycling Outfits: Did you know that if you fall asleep in your clothes, wake up the next morning, and keep wearing the same outfit all day, you totally economize on your laundry? Because I do.2. Caramel Apples: In the past six days, I have consumed eleven of these delicious little beauties. That in and of itself may not seem too shocking, until I admit that seven of them were consumed in one day. I couldn't help it. The nutrition facts indicate that they're not that bad, they were in the pantry literally screaming my name, and everything is so much easier to handle with a caramel apple in your hand.3. Sleeping On The Floor: In ...continue reading.

Renaming The Shittiest Day Of The Week

Posted on by lindsay
Three weeks ago today, I uprooted my life and made some pretty serious changes. Two weeks ago today, I dragged my recalcitrant butt into therapy and forced myself to pour my heart out to a complete stranger. One week ago today, that stranger decided that I was as crazy as I sounded and agreed to write me a letter to accompany my tuition refund request affirming his realization. And today, I rejoin the workforce. Tuesdays suck. Therefore, I propose a renaming of Tuesday, in hopes that a rechristening will somehow change the course of Tuesdays forever. My first inclination was to call it Bluesday, because that sounded so very appropriate. I then realized, however, that such a name either painted a negative, depressing picture of me (probably accurate) and set me up for future ill luck OR made people think I was honoring a style of music (inaccurate). I then ...continue reading.

The Sun Also Rises

Posted on by lindsay
This will not be easy to read.Two weeks ago, I left law school and my home all in the same day. It hurt and the tears and snot kept dripping as I packed up my textbooks and my belongings, but I was mostly numb and just going through the motions. It was hard to keep moving forward and remembering to breathe, but I just stopped thinking and feeling and kept pushing myself onward. Since that day, I've had moments of feeling sad and lost, moments when I'm confused about where I am and what I'm doing, but otherwise I've just kept going through each day with detached disinterest.In the past five days or so however, things have started to go downhill. It's no secret that I deal with depression, that my ability to smile on a regular basis is regulated by a little bottle in my medicine cabinet. But I ...continue reading.

Sheep, Tinfoil, and Introspection

Posted on by lindsay
When I first took my leave of absence from law school, it never occurred to me that I would be leaving myself with absolutely nothing to do all day (well, until I found a job, which is a work in progress). It has now been a week and a half, and I am still blissfully without any real obligations to fill my schedule. Sure, I have occasional errands, appointments, and periods of time when I spam my resume out across the country, but I generally am very busy doing the following: 1. Nothing. This can be very boring at times, because there are only so many episodes of Grey's Anatomy that you can watch before you just want to scream at Dr. Grey and Dr. McDreamy, "JUST DO IT ALREADY!" However, there are also days where my complete lack of scheduling requirements makes for a very nice time. Like yesterday, ...continue reading.

Dear Man Seated Near Me At Panera,

Posted on by lindsay
I know Panera is relatively noisy and crowded. I know I'm wearing headphones that give the illusion that I can't hear background noises. I know we're both here to use the free Internet. I know it's a free country.But for the love of God, please stop reading aloud from your computer.I'm not sure why you need to read out loud in the first place. You're sitting alone; you're not on a phone or communicating with a webcam. You're just sitting in front of your laptop reading out loud about special education. And really, I'm about to kill you. Because although you may think I can't hear you, you're speaking quite audibly, and you're pushing me JUST THIS MUCH CLOSER to insanity. At first, I thought it was just weird to see you speaking to the screen of your laptop. But now, forty minutes later, I'm am in a blind rage, ...continue reading.