Crap

Posted on by lindsay
I just took Kobe out for his nightly walk. He did his little tinkle thing, then circled rapidly and pooped almost immediately. At the end of his squat, he became alarmed and spun around quickly, flinging the last dangling turd at my leg in the process. I leaped out of the way, tripped over my enormous feet, and stepped directly on the damn thing.And that's my cue to call it a night.

I Can Start Monday, Bitches

Posted on by lindsay
It has now been almost six weeks and I am still not technically employed. I've had strange offers for odd jobs here and there, and I'm starting a short babysitting/housekeeping gig on Monday morning, but I still have yet to receive an offer for a real actual job. I have, however, been to more interviews than I care to admit (all in the same exact suit, I might add), and I have discovered a few things about job searching that make me want to kill everybody. In a nice, professional way.1. The Sales Pitch: If I'm sitting in your office for an interview, chances are that I want the job. So please tell me why interviewers feel the compelling need to sell me on their company? I've heard everything from the detailed history of the company to what is served at the annual company picnic ("And crab! We had crab ...continue reading.

The Arrest Of Quaggledoo and Hildebeeste

Posted on by lindsay
Caitlin, MJ, and I decided last week to make this past weekend our lengthy celebration of Halloween. We began on Friday night with plans to watch four horror movies and then conduct a seance, plans that disintegrated immediately when we all fell asleep during the first movie, reaffirming my greatest fear - I am getting old and boring. I might as well take up knitting and then just die.Today, however, we decided to visit an abandoned and condemned mental hospital outside of Philadelphia. We first discovered this particular site while surfing the Internet for good places to crap our pants, and spontaneously decided to make it part of our Weekend of Scary Things. After a long drive, the three of us disembarked from the car and hiked along the road that bordered the hospital. With the decrepit buildings in sight, I hopped the fence onto the property, followed shortly by ...continue reading.