Thoughtful

Posted on by lindsay
"Don't get the chicken," my coworker advised conspiratorially on our way out to the kosher restaurant of our boss' choosing. "They don't always pluck all of the feathers off, so you end up with hairy chicken."Upon arriving at the restaurant, I passed on that friendly advice to our new employee, who was joining us for lunch. "You should get the chicken," I offered congenially. "It's really good here."

Halloween 2007

Posted on by lindsay
The Pumpkin Patch Cost: $22, if we'd actually been willing to pay for it. I already wrote about this experience. You remember that post, right? It was pretty short, mostly because Bobby and I were too cheap to pay the price of admission and were relegated to buying some apple butter and going home. The Corn Maze Cost: $18 minus what we stole. On a Sunday afternoon shortly before Halloween, my mother and I went to a cute Halloween corn maze/hay ride/autumn festival out in the country. The review in the local paper had made it sound like a lot of fun, with a variety of events and organic, home-cooked food. In actuality, the target age for the majority of the activities was five, which left little for my mother and I to do. The hayride involved two dirty bales of hay, one rickety tractor, and roughly fifteen people who ...continue reading.

Just In Time For Halloween

Posted on by lindsay
I took a break from working a few minutes ago (reading the newspaper online can get very stressful) to grab a snack at 7-Eleven. After buying my M&Ms and soda, I started briskly out the door and nearly collided with a tall, shirtless man carrying a single pumpkin and wearing a floppy hat. The look on my face felt like one of mere surprise, but it must have come across as MOVE, ASSWIPE! because he immediately stammered an apology while his eyes darted around wildly. It was very strange, but I thought little of the encounter as I headed down the street to stop in the nearby ranger surplus store. I browsed through the store briefly and was paying little attention to the other customers, until I heard a man come in and loudly start a conversation with the elderly sales clerk. Upon looking over, I realized that it was ...continue reading.

Oops, I Did It Again

Posted on by lindsay
I was riding my bike on the W&OD Railroad Trail the other day and out of nowhere, a bird flew into my wheel. Because I am a bad person (and I was doing endurance training at twenty miles per hour), I didn't stop. Shortly thereafter, I came upon a boy (probably about ten years old) kicking a rock around in the middle of the trail. He hopped over to the left as I rapidly approached, allowing me sufficient space to pass him, but then at the last second he stepped directly back into my path. Apparently he didn't see me because he was preoccupied with his stone. I slammed on my brakes, but only managed to slow enough to skid into him. Because I am a very bad person (and he was a rubbery, obnoxious child), I not only didn't stop but yelled, "Damnit, kid!" And because I am me, ...continue reading.

Penny Pinching

Posted on by lindsay
For as long as I can remember, I have celebrated the coming of autumn and Halloween by visiting a pumpkin patch called "Pumpkinville" out in the country. This pumpkin patch not only has pumpkins, but also hay bale mazes, giant slides, pony rides, a petting zoo, and piles of fresh popcorn and apples. As we had a bit of free time today, Bobby and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful afternoon by making the annual trek out to Pumpkinville. However, when we arrived we were startled to see a sign posted on the entrance gate announcing that the price of admission for an adult had risen to $11, which we felt was far too much to pay for an event that really wasn't all that fun anyway.Instead, we settled for visiting the country store attached to Pumpkinville and selected a pumpkin, three jars of apple butter, and a ...continue reading.

These posts, they write themselves.

Posted on by lindsay
One of my coworkers who attended the dinner last night is good friends with a former coworkers who was also present. This girl had also brought her fiance to the dinner. Two minutes after I walked into the office this morning, she appeared in my doorway and asked abruptly, "Do you have the poops today? Because we all do."