There’s no part of this story that isn’t completely ridiculous when I think about it now.

Posted on by lindsay
I was making breakfast the other morning before work and, in the process of preparing my toast, I pulled open a kitchen drawer to get a napkin. Something scurried across the top of the napkin and with a little brown body so lively and quick, I knew in a moment I was going to be sick. It was a roach. Few people like roaches or enjoy finding roaches in their home. I know I'm not alone in disliking them. But my feelings run deeper, somewhere along the lines of hatred, crippling fear, and utter disgust. Finding one in my kitchen was unimaginable. I grabbed the can of Raid and slaughtered the roach, and then cautiously removed everything from the drawer in order to disinfect every surface. I realized I needed a plastic bag in which to place all the crap, so I went to the coat closet where we keep ...continue reading.

A Night To Remember

Posted on by lindsay
This past Tuesday was the first night of the year where everything outside was snowy and beautiful, so despite being exhausted from working all through the previous night and having just finished a training ride, I convinced Bobby to come walk the dog with me. It was just after 11pm when we finished getting ready to go out. I was the last one out the door, and as it slammed shut behind me, I realized I hadn't checked to see if the bottom lock was unlocked. [Bobby maintains that I wasn't just a passive victim of the door; he thinks I flipped the lock out of habit and let it shut before I could fix my mistake. Honestly, I was going on three hours of sleep and twenty hours of almost non-stop working, so I could have burnt the house down without realizing it. How the door got locked and ...continue reading.

Scarlet Letter

Posted on by lindsay
The bathroom at my workplace is located just off the lobby of our floor, which means that any visit requires a thirty second walk from my desk. I don't mind, but occasionally, once a month in particular, that walk can be long and scary. Today was the realization of my worst nightmare. Let's be honest here. I'm female and of reproductive age, which means I have a monthly need for feminine products. Tampons, to be specific. [I hate that word, I hate writing that word, I hate saying that word...UGH.] Picking up my purse and walking to the little girl's room would be an obvious announcement to my coworkers, so I've taken to subtly placing a single tampon into a sheaf of folded papers, scurrying to the bathroom, and leaving my colleagues none the wiser. It was an unpleasant moment the other day when a senior vice president and the ...continue reading.

Driving Sideways

Posted on by lindsay
This past Sunday was a beautifully clear, crisp day and a perfect opportunity to go for a drive. Kobe enjoys car trips, so he joined me. Those smudges you see on the window are compliments of his tendency to smush his nose against the glass. The first thing we came upon was a pen of goats. One goat in particular was very forward, and I wasn't entirely sure that my presence outside his fence wasn't going to drive him to escape. Next I passed this road sign. At first I just thought it was one of those funny rural street names, like Old Yellow Schoolhouse Road (one I actually came across that day). Upon closer examination, I discovered the street name was actually just stating the obvious. This would explain the crookedness: It's a good thing they put a sign there, because the bridge itself wasn't enough of a warning. ...continue reading.

Ups and Downs

Posted on by lindsay
Last Friday was a crazy day at work. I won't even try to describe everything that happened, but suffice to say that if the day had ended with finding my car entirely filled with fluffy rabbits, I would not have even blinked. One event, however, was especially noteworthy.Towards the end of the day, I wanted to make a personal phone call, so I grabbed my cell phone and my key card and took the elevator down to the lobby. It was around seven o'clock by that point, but there were still enough people around the cubicle farm that is my workspace that I preferred to make my call somewhere more private. After I finished, I got back in the elevator, flashed my key card on the electronic pad to select my floor, and waited. Nothing happened.[The keycard is designed to enable the keyholder to access only their floor after hours. ...continue reading.

Spin Cycle

Posted on by lindsay
I’m a big believer in the power of the washing machine. To me, there is little the washing machine cannot handle. Clothing coated with mud, bits of leaves, and shredded grass? Not a problem. Dry-clean only suits and dress shirts? Piece of cake. A sleeping bag dirtied from a camping trip? Just keep shoving until it fits. I know that my carefree attitude towards using the washer constitutes minor abuse, as I’m certain the compact-sized stackable machine in my condo was not designed to launder a full-size down bedspread or my muddy bike shoes with metal cleats, but the only problem I’ve had so far is the machine “walking” across the floor during a violent cycle. I don’t mind walking; as long as it’s not overflowing or actively catching on fire, I’m willing to keep putting new things in. The other night, Bobby happened to be nearby as I emptied ...continue reading.