Dr. Dolittle

Posted on by lindsay
On my way to work today, I was inching through traffic on a two-lane highway exit ramp when I saw a tailless squirrel scampering in the grass alongside my spot in the left lane. The squirrel kept darting closer and closer to the road, and I was worried that he would bolt under my car at any moment, or cross safely in front of me only to be hit by a car in the right lane. I stopped as much as I could (which the person behind me enjoyed a lot), but finally had to roll down my window to yell, “Go! Go away! Get back from the road!” Because I like shouting at rodents from my car. Being a squirrel and all, he didn’t take my advice and got as far as scurrying along the asphalt two feet away. I looked around for something in my car to throw ...continue reading.

(5) Days of Summer

Posted on by lindsay
When I first left my job, I had big plans for how much fun Bobby and I were going to have together. There was talk of making a list of fifty "must-do" activities, and we planned to make each day our own version of a summer vacation. That didn't happen. There were some good times, but more often than not the days would either creep by in a swamp of apathetic boredom or fly by in a whirlwind of crossing off to-do list items. The lack of money also scared us into trying to be cheap. Once I found a job and had an official start date, though, we got serious and decided to go all out for my last week of not working. Each day was going to have an agenda and we were going to cram as much excitement into that week as two people reasonably could. The ...continue reading.

A Message To Fellow Graduates From My High School Of Terrifying Overachievers That Make Me Feel Small Deep Inside

Posted on by lindsay
So okay, maybe you've completed your third graduate degree or traveled the world and saved orphans from deadly diseases in Asia or invented a new kind of computer that can run on nothing but elephant droppings or worked for the President or won Jeopardy for five straight years, but I can ride a bike through the woods like NOBODY'S BUSINESS.

Internet Sensation

Posted on by lindsay
While reading NYMag.com last night, I found an article talking about a really entertaining wedding video that is all over the Internet. You can (and should) watch it here: [Link removed. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it when I say the video rocked.] The article went on to point out that "...since Kevin posted the video last week, his wedding day has grabbed over 8 million views — that's already a greater number than the total tickets sold on Broadway this year, or the audience for an average episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Thus, it's fair to say that Kevin's wedding day is the most-watched musical-theater number of the entire year." Bobby was sitting next to me when I saw the video and since that first viewing, I'm fairly certain he and I account for the additional four million views on You ...continue reading.

Plan B.

Posted on by lindsay
Updating this website hasn't gone so well for me in the past year. I used to be quick with the witticisms (or so I tell myself) and filled with random anecdotes about my daily life, but then that well dried up and I couldn't think of worthwhile things to post anymore. I would have written about my job, but there was little I could say without sharing too much about my workplace or my coworkers. I would have written about Bobby or my family, but those relationships tend to fare better when I'm not making fun of them on the Internet. Finally, I would have written about my biking, but I didn't think you'd care. I ride through the woods fast; how exciting.But I have realized recently that in my biking, there are still tidbits of absurdity that would make for good posts. For example, on two consecutive nights a ...continue reading.

The thought is what counts here, people.

Posted on by lindsay
This morning on my way to work, I was making a right turn at a busy intersection when I saw what appeared to be a frog hopping across the road in my lane. Maybe it was a toad, I don't know. It looked amphibian and vulnerable and I was concerned, so despite being thirty minutes late already (an everyday occurrence), I made a U-turn and went back to save the frog/toad.I made it back to the intersection and slowed down in the turn lane to make sure it really was a frog/toad, but the driver behind me became immensely irritated and started flashing his brights. He didn't look like the type who would stop for a frog/toad; he looked more like the type who would speed up and swerve to intentionally run it over. I was intimidated, so I didn't stop, hardly even slowed down, and cruised right back over ...continue reading.