Open Book

Posted on by lindsay
It was finally time for a much overdue haircut yesterday. I don't have a regular stylist, mostly because I am not regularly styled, but I went back to the girl who has cut my hair a few times over the past two years. She's nice and nothing if not interesting. For example, last night she covered my head with conditioner and then announced that she was going to the restroom. Then she disappeared into the bathroom for five minutes. I felt weird about the whole thing at first, but then it sort of amused me. I'm used to a world where women (primarily at my office) pretend that we do not do anything in the bathroom except fluff our hair and examine our teeth. We do not poop, and if anyone comes into the bathroom while we are doing anything other than fluffing our hair, we universally fall silent and ...continue reading.

Bobby wanted to write this title, but all of his suggestions were terrible.

Posted on by lindsay
Discussing meats over a lunch at Whole Foods: "I'm very particular about my meat. Gristly, fatty, weird stuff just freaks me out. I think it was the way I grew up - my mom always bought the nice, lean, high-quality stuff and it spoiled me. A few years ago, I bought a big package of store-brand chicken breasts and they were gross. I had to throw them out." "Really?" Bobby replied. "Chicken is pretty lean." I grimaced. "Nope. These were bad. For me, it's Perdue or die."

Whiner.

Posted on by lindsay
I feel kind of over writing this blog. Maybe I'm just being an irritable shit today. Probably, actually, but I still feel like quitting anyways. Sometimes I think it would be awesome to just drop off the Internet entirely; kill my Facebook account, unsubscribe from any mass emails, stop checking blogs and websites regularly. An analog existence actually sounds refreshing a lot of the time, and it certainly would help me avoid times like Monday afternoon, where I lost several hours to pointless surfing while avoiding a ride on the trainer. But then I'd miss the latest post on fmylife.com and then I'd probably catch fire. I've been grumpy for the past few days on and off for no discernible reason. It's annoying because I know I'm a drag to be around (I'm around myself all the time and it sucks), but I can't change the problem if I can't ...continue reading.

Dead Animal Scarf

Posted on by lindsay
I love (loved? do you change it to past tense after someone dies?) my grandmother and always thought she was a dignified, classy lady with nice style. In helping to clean out her house, however, my mother and I came across a fur coat (pretty, except for the whole 'souls of countless slaughtered little animals' part) and a mink stole. The stole was atrocious: Where do I even begin? The intact faces, complete with little beady eyes and noses? The complete presence of three gutted animals, attached together head to tail? How can somebody want to walk around with dead animals strapped around their neck? More to the point, these things have their buttholes intact. Actual buttholes. Fortunately, this style seems to have died (no pun intended originally, but now I can't resist) and does not appear to be making a resurgence. Shame, too, since my mice have such soft ...continue reading.

Wrecked ‘Em, Damn Near Killed ‘Em

Posted on by lindsay
Both quotes are worth remembering: "Realize that a to-do list ends only in death." -Brigid Schulte, The Washington Post "The 650B is the answer to the question nobody asked. It's like bacon. No one remembers asking for a salty meat product made mostly of lard and the lips of a pig's anus, but here we are." - Soulcraft's Sean Walling on the future of 650B. Ahh, the diverse spectrum of my psyche.

Not the post I planned to write today.

Posted on by lindsay
I'm working from home today, because there is snow on the ground and I see no point in wasting excessive amounts of  time inching along with the millions of people in this area who are unable to drive their vehicles in snow. I was chatting with one of my supervisors on instant message about a meeting that was scheduled for today and suddenly he interjects that the other supervisor (aka, the zombie shooter from an earlier, now redacted, post) was informed that her picture was on my site and is now pissed. I nearly choked on my latte. For the past four years, this site has been largely anonymous. Sure, you know my name is Lindsay and you know the names of my pets and my close friends, but you don't know where I work or the names of the people I work with. That's intentional. I don't want to ...continue reading.