A Complaint in Every Paragraph!

Posted on by lindsay
The last thirty-six hours have kicked my [word redacted because my mother scolds me for obscenities and, based on the comments, she is 68.73% of my reader base]. Yesterday morning started when I jolted awake early after a disturbing dream about chugging Coronas at a dive bar while crying because I'd just met this waifish, creepy little girl named Lindsay who was into brutally slaughtering people and eating them. I have NO IDEA where this came from, but I woke up completely freaked out. Dive bars are gross! Then came an exhausting day at work. I'm managing a big proposal right now and sometimes I want to climb into the paper shredder, if only to make the emails and the phone calls and the questions stop coming. I understand that work is not supposed to be fun - people pay to do fun things, so it stands to reason that if you are ...continue reading.

Hello there.

Posted on by lindsay
If you're coming here from an article about the Nature Valley Pro Chase, you're probably interested in reading this race report from the Jefferson Cup Road Race qualifier. If you're interested in some light reading about my cycling in general without having to weed through posts in which I overshare about my personal life, you can go here. Thanks for visiting and I look forward to sharing more about the experience of the Nature Valley Pro Chase in the coming months. Also, I haven't gotten any free granola bars yet, but my hopes are high.

Basketful of Awesome

Posted on by lindsay
My family is big on tradition - every year, we read The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, eat corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day, and set off illegal fireworks on the 4th of July. Easter is no exception; the "Easter Bunny" still hides my basket, because nothing says 'praise the resurrection of Jesus' like digging through somebody else's closets looking for a basket of candy. Spearheading this holiday insanity is my mother. She's not just a trip, she's an all-expenses-paid vacation to the moon; to know her is to love her and after meeting her, people always tell me, "Your mother is such a nice lady." (It is apparently not hereditary.) Anyhoo, here's a little video of my Easter. In true Bayer family style, my Easter basket was filled with whisky, pantyhose, candy, and some sharp objects. Then I proceeded to eat 90% of the candy in that ...continue reading.

Stifling tears, she pressed her face to the cold fence and strained to hear the sounds of laughter and whirring hubs echoing in the distance

Posted on by lindsay
This is what happens when it's a recovery ride day and your coach says NO to the group ride you planned to join: After riding v e r y  s l o w l y  by myself, I joined the group at the post-ride breakfast and spotted My First Crush working the bar. This boy was in 3rd grade while I was in 2nd, but we were in a mixed 2/3 class together and he was the first person to win my wee little six-year-old heart. I've seen him around the breakfast place before and heard people call him by name, so yeah, I know without a doubt that it's him. [And yeah, I feel like a creeper, no need to say it.] He has no idea who I am or that I once tried to impress him by flashing my copy of "The Babysitters' Club: Goodbye Stacey, Goodbye" (what ...continue reading.

Business or Pleasure?

Posted on by lindsay
I went for a bike ride last night. On the surface, this should not sound unusual. Riding is pretty much my whole life, especially if you don't count eating, which I do anyway because I have to believe that all of the eating I do is in service of my riding (including the root beer float I had after work, right before I had that other root beer float). Last night was different, however. I went out for a bike ride strictly to ride my bike. Like, just ride it around. No training plan, no kit, no waterbottle, no destination, just street clothes, a bike, and a helmet. Even the cycling computer stayed home, although that was less because I was at peace with the idea of riding data-free and more because the battery died. It was as if fate had beckoned me to go forth and pedal aimlessly. Fate ...continue reading.

A title is really just asking too much of me right now

Posted on by lindsay
Holy shitballs, I am a hot mess today. I went into the bathroom at the office expecting to see business as usual in the mirror and that my crappy, dragging feeling was all in my head, and instead saw a face that said HEY THERE, HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DEAD. I'm not sleep-deprived but I feel exhausted and - here's the really shocking part - I have no appetite. That's terrifying for somebody whose entire existence revolves around food, to the point where a stranger talked me into eating an unidentifiable cookie off a tray of unknown age and origin this past Wednesday. Wait. And I haven't been feeling very well since then... Honestly, I think it's fatigue from anxiety about an upcoming event that shall not be named. Suffice it to say that last night, during the entirety of a Chinese dancing performance at the Kennedy Center, my thoughts went ...continue reading.