The Sorrow of Seasonal Snacks

Posted on by lindsay
I'm obsessed with the gingerbread cookies that Starbucks has this season. From their chewy, spicy-sweet goodness to the exquisite deliciousness that is the frosting apron, I am completely smitten. I start thinking about getting my gingerbread cookie from the moment I first awaken, spend the entire drive to work debating about whether or not today will be the day I say no, and then inevitably surrender by early afternoon at latest. Those cookies are in the back of my mind all day, and when I'm finally walking back to work, cookie in hand, I am satisfied only until the first bite when I start wondering if maybe I could possibly splurge and have one more. Or five.The problem being that eventually, Starbucks will no longer carry these seasonal little wonders, and this will happen with no warning whatsoever. I will go in there one afternoon, mouth watering and lips quivering, ...continue reading.

Facelift ’06

Posted on by lindsay
Earlier this week, I started toying with the idea of getting an actual URL and redesigning my blog to be less "I write about my feelings on the Internet like everybody else" and more "I write about my feelings on the Internet like people who are cool enough to have websites." I saw a clear distinct there; I don't think anybody else will.I have minimal knowledge of starting my own webpage and, except for a brief stint of obsessing over Tibor Kalman and dreaming of being Helen Hunt in "What Women Want", have no experience in creating quality graphic design, so I called my friend Jkrew and asked if he'd be so kind as to render me his design services. Not only did he agree to help, but within a few hours of my request, he'd gotten me my website, migrated my blog, and designed an absolutely perfect masthead. He ...continue reading.

Tipping The Scales

Posted on by lindsay
I've been to a lot of interviews lately, and there have definitely been ones where I've realized almost immediately that I'd rather become a prostitute/starve/die before taking the job. The jobs are either incredibly boring and mundane or the people are dry and humorless, but either way, I instantly begin praying that they will choose somebody else. When I shared these feelings with my father today, he gave me some helpful questions to pose during the interview that are guaranteed to decrease my chances of being hired:1. Will the insurance cover my pre-existing STDs?2. Is it difficult to enroll in the lunchtime AA meetings? Because the twelve steps have really helped me lay off the nose candy.3. What sort of benefits can I reap from the Employee Assistance Program?4. How many days will I get off each year? What about sick leave?5. Do you have an existing drug treatment program?Caitlin ...continue reading.

The Arrest Of Quaggledoo and Hildebeeste

Posted on by lindsay
Caitlin, MJ, and I decided last week to make this past weekend our lengthy celebration of Halloween. We began on Friday night with plans to watch four horror movies and then conduct a seance, plans that disintegrated immediately when we all fell asleep during the first movie, reaffirming my greatest fear - I am getting old and boring. I might as well take up knitting and then just die.Today, however, we decided to visit an abandoned and condemned mental hospital outside of Philadelphia. We first discovered this particular site while surfing the Internet for good places to crap our pants, and spontaneously decided to make it part of our Weekend of Scary Things. After a long drive, the three of us disembarked from the car and hiked along the road that bordered the hospital. With the decrepit buildings in sight, I hopped the fence onto the property, followed shortly by ...continue reading.