Facebook Reunion

Posted on by lindsay
"Holy shit, you still exist? I figured you would've perished in some horribly ironic blaze of glory, like getting a supporting role in a telenovela and then actually getting the rare toe cancer you were cast as having."-Friend from high school

Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fur!

Posted on by lindsay
I gave Kobe a bath last night. This is in no way remarkable, except for the fact at (A) I chose to do so on the night when The Landlord was courting a lady friend with a home-cooked meal, and (B) Kobe chose that time to go bald.Because of the public nature of this website, I generally decline to discuss other people's personal matters, so I won't elaborate further on The Landlord's date. Suffice to say that his idea of romance probably did not include me in the next room attempting to brush my crying dog's teeth while Matty played "Let's Get It On" in hopes of speeding along the evening. Unfortunately, Kobe's breath smelled like he'd gargled garbage, and a toothbrushing is always followed by a bath. You'd make that a rule too if you brushed someone's teeth who insisted on squirming and smearing beef-flavored toothpaste all over his ...continue reading.

Snow Day

Posted on by lindsay
After working from home the past two days as a result of the inclement weather, I decided to brave the icy roads and return to my office today. I made it as far as the car, at which point I realized that my wheels were frozen solidly to the street and were not even close to moving. It took me twenty minutes of revving my engine to decide that another plan was necessary, a plan that involved carrying pots of hot water down the stairs and out through the slippery cul-de-sac to where my car was glued in place. After about eight of these trips, Matt, who had been watching this all with some amusement from the kitchen window, came outside to help.We shoveled as much ice and snow out from under the wheels as we could (and by we, I mean he with a lot of moral support from ...continue reading.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Posted on by lindsay
A few years ago, this hideous image showed up in my email inbox at work. My coworker hated this picture instantly and said that it completely creeped her out, so naturally, I waited until she was out of her office, made forty copies of it, and taped them all over her cubicle. It was awesome - I've never been so pleased with a decorating job. I'm certain she enjoyed it thoroughly as well. So this one's for you, Mel, and everyone else out there who needs a little love today; I give you Man-Dog. Snuggle up. Feel the love.

You And Kristy Thomas.

Posted on by lindsay
I called Caitlin on Sunday morning to chat and discuss my babysitting job from the previous evening, as she is acquainted with the clients and their children. When I finished telling her about the events of the evening (the kids only cried once and the little boy only touched the dog inappropriately for a moment), she commented, "We should start a babysitting business. We'd make a lot of money.""Oh," I replied. "You mean like The Babysitters Club?" If you don't get the reference to the book series, clearly you weren't a girl in elementary school during the nineties.Caitlin laughed. And then she stopped laughing when she realized that I was still talking, and that I was listing each member of The Babysitters Club, their title in the club, and their favorite babysitting clients. I could practically feel her backing slowly away from the phone, and I can't blame her. You ...continue reading.