The Name ‘Deadlift’ May Have Been A Hint

Posted on by lindsay
Bobby rented the movie “Eat Pray Love” for me the other day, and when I saw it on the kitchen counter, I cringed. When the movie was released, I vowed never to see it. The book was excellent (except for the parts about god); not only were Elizabeth Gilbert’s travels fascinating, but I liked her writing style and her internal struggles and unsettled nature were highly relatable. Translating the book into a movie, however, resulted in a nauseating tale of an upper class white American woman escaping from her tortured existence by traveling for a year and cherrypicking other cultures while living off a magical pot of cash. I put on the movie out of obligation, fell asleep before Julia Roberts even made it to Italy, and woke up so annoyed that I froze my laptop in my haste to eject the disc. The point is that I can recognize ...continue reading.

Celebrating Two Six

Posted on by lindsay
Dinner with the family at Oyamel, followed by a drive through DC that somehow also included an accidental trip to Dulles Airport... ...after which there were drinks in Arlington with friends, insufficient sleep and a hangover (gasp! the sin!), and brunch with lovely friends who brought a perfectly handcrafted gift.... ...then a visit to the in-laws and a stop at my parents' house, where I was spoiled rotten and fed cupcakes... ...followed by a drive to a favorite spot out west, where a (finally) wise decision was made to heed the angry no trespassing signs... ...and instead to go out for sushi, and then home to eat way too much candy corn (which equates to, like, five pieces). The last moment of the day was an unexpected text message that was appreciated more than the sender will know. It was an excellent weekend, thanks to my husband, Mom and Pops, Jen ...continue reading.

Text Message Beatdown

Posted on by lindsay
L: Definitely just dropped my new wallet in the dog's food dish and sprayed kibble everywhere. Oops. K: Why would you ever keep Chanel even close to dog food? L: I grabbed it off the kitchen counter and was walking away and it slipped! K: Chanel will forgive you...this time.

Things I did not expect a girl my age to tell me today at work.

Posted on by lindsay
I love Hooters! My parents have been taking me to Hooters every Friday since I was eight. It was bad because we'd walk in and the Hooters girls would already have my parents' drinks ready. Since I was picky and wouldn't eat anything off the menu, my dad would ask for this thing for me called a Hooters sandwich which was basically wings and a bun and mustard. I was a pro at the hula hoop that they had there, although I don't think I was the demographic that the customers were hoping to see. One time we had to leave early because they started the Hooters bikini contest and you had to be 18 or older to be there. They put tarp over the windows. I still go there with my family.

Because I’ve already spent the past 24 hours talking about this bug.

Posted on by lindsay
Yesterday, at an hour early I arrived at Amy's, feeling surly. My Posse friends weren't even near When, look, behold, what's standing here? So green, so cute, so freaking bright Standing on my car, this sight! A bug of some exotic flavor Upon my car bestowed his favor. I was filled with joy and so delighted Surely he had just alighted. No passenger just clinging lightly Would survive me taking turns so tightly. He stood there cleaning his antennae Crap, words that rhyme with this aren't many. I snapped pictures; he seemed so chill Despite a camera up in his grill. After photos, I went inside For all I know, he baked and died. But later on last night his kin Chose my outdoor dinner to drop in. And led to the sharing of this story About a green bug and all his glory. But now I think I'll take ...continue reading.

What An Excellent Year For An Exorcism!

Posted on by lindsay
For the past three years, I have begun each new year with a review of how I did with my previous year's resolutions and a discussion of my new resolutions. That sounds boring, so I'm not going to do it. Instead, I'm going to do a quick recap of the past year in list format, which saves me the time and trouble of developing thoughts and connecting them meaningfully in paragraphs. Also, it's probably less tedious for you to read. Things That Sucked in 2009 1. Grandma died. 2. My fiance left me and moved out. 3. I drowned uncomfortably at a job that tried to eat my favorite coworkers after it had chewed me up and spit me out. 4. Scout went blind in one eye, which now glows radioactively whenever it catches the light. 5. I killed every plant I owned this year (four of them). 6. The military ...continue reading.