I had a voicemail yesterday from Kelly at the legal temp agency where I am theoretically employed, asking me to call her to discuss a unique opportunity. As I am rather enjoying my current circumstance, I was reticent to return her call, but ultimately decided to at least hear her out.
So I called.
She could not have possibly been more perky as she explained, “Well, I have an unusual question for you! Sort of an odd situation, actually!”
I was picturing a temporary position maybe cleaning terrariums at the National Centipede Museum, or sorting some rich attorney’s fingernail clippings.
I was wrong.
“It seems that Nick can’t find anyone to take your old position!” She giggled. I did too, as I was genuinely pleased to learn of his difficulty. I pictured messy notes and files piling up on my old desk while Nick paced the office furiously, trying to figure out if he could get the janitor to type his correspondence.
Kelly continued, still dripping saccharine joy. “He was wondering if you could come back and just work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”
Oh, wait, you mean the schedule he originally agreed was acceptable, before firing me because my availability was unacceptable?
It took me less than two seconds to mentally calculate that I would rather eat shit/burn my hair off/boil my face than go back to work at the depressingly dull job where I was dumped with absolutely no warning at 8:30am on a Friday morning by a cowardly asshole who could not foresee the ramifications of my preestablished school schedule.
“Well,” I replied, “I am currently involved in another temporary position that will probably last about two more weeks. But after that, I don’t have any plans. Can we talk then?”
I tried to sound optimistic and open, leading her, and thereby Nick, to believe that I was seriously considering resuming my old position. I’m young enough to be that childish.
We ended the conversation with her agreeing to touch base with me weekly until I was done at my current job.
Karma can really be a bitch. Or maybe that’s just me.