As 2009 drew to a close and my average arrival time at the office crept past 10am (roughly an hour late), I vowed that things would be different after the first of the year. That resolve lasted until approximately 8:55am today, when I chose to spend a few extra minutes rubbing Kobe’s belly and drinking my soy latte. It was just such a peaceful morning and the dogs were quiet and snuggly and work seemed distant and boring. The next thing I knew, it was 9:55am and I was cursing the woman in front of me who was cautiously navigating the parking garage at the same speed it would have taken me run while carrying my car. I wanted to kill her or at least flick her off, but the fear that she and I share an employer won.
I don’t know why I have such issues with time management. It’s been like this for ages, and while several therapists have pointed out that I am completely in control of my life and choices, I feel sort of differently. Take last night for example. I finished my two-hour trainer ride late in the evening and wanted to quickly get showered and ready for bed in order to get a good night’s sleep. Here are the things that were essential to do before going to bed:
1. Drink recovery drink, have snack.
2. Stretch.
3. Shower, brush teeth.
4. Turn off lights, turn on fan, go to sleep.
Here are the things I did:
1. Drank recovery drink, had snack, steamed a cup of milk and sipped slowly.
2. Stretched.
3. Showered, taking the time to shave my legs and also scrub mold off the grout and shower tiles.
4. Flossed and brushed teeth.
5. Sent four emails.
6. Wrote a blog post.
7. Registered for a mountain bike skills camp.
8. Surfed the Internet.
9. Picked lint off the carpet.
10. Started the dishwasher.
11. Set out breakfast for the dogs.
12. Turned off lights, turned on fan, adjusted fan.
13. Went to sleep.
This is how my entire life works. I’m not persistently behind schedule because I’m slow-moving or lazy; rather, I just can’t resist the compulsion to do certain things. That mold in the shower has been growing for longer than some of the hardier redwoods, but last night, I felt an overwhelming desire to scrub it away. So I did. I think the problem is that I am unable to prioritize anything – everything is a requirment of equal importance, which means that on the way to the ER to have my arm re-attached, I might swing by the post office to pick up stamps.
My new therapist is a trip about this whole issue, because while she points out that I am in control and simply choose to do things that delay me, she acknowledges that I thrive on the stress this creates and that perhaps this is a system that works for me. Anybody who says I should stick with my messy, sometimes disasterous status-quo is absolutely worth the co-pay.
In closing, I would like to pre-emptively apologize for being late to any occasion where you and I are scheduled to meet. I mean no disrespect, and you’re welcome to lie about when I’m due to arrive so that I shoot for an earlier time and inevitably end up arriving right when you want me to. I would love to put aside the compulsions to do certain things at certain times, but much like people who feel the need to lick doorknobs or tap their foreheads repeatedly, I just can’t.
Woah! You’re an updating fool! So much posting!
Anyway, to the issue at hand. It’s like you have OCD. Only it’s like obsessive procrastination disorder. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen you start clipping your nails when you’re already 15 minutes late or choose a time like that to start a load of laundry, wash the dishes and then make something to eat because you are “kinda hungry” and then, just as you’re about to take a shower and get ready, you decide it’s time to brush Kobe.
WTF?
So, you’re already like 20 minutes late, you haven’t showered, dried your hair, brushed your teeth or even hinted at being even CLOSE to ready and you’re brushing the effing dog? Seriously?
Maybe this can be your New Year’s Resolution? Actually, maybe not…I kinda like you this way. It gives me like an extra half an hour to get ready. Guaranteed.
I have to be honest here (well not really since I could be lying through my teeth and you wouldn’t know the difference) and admit that instead of working diligently towards the prosperity of my company and by association, myself, I have in fact spent 8 hours reading every single post you’ve made (could that be considered stalking on the internet? (Caitlin is gorgeous)). And contrary to what I expected, it was not a complete waste of time! Your writing is amazing, and after you done with the Olympics (be warned, South African mountain biking woman are incredibly strong riders (I’d still cheer for you though)) writing is something you just have to do (and be payed for I mean). Is cyclecross even in the Olympics? Good luck and keep them coming.
Thanks for the compliments on my riding, Shelldon. I passed on your remark to Caitlin. I’m sure she’ll be flattered.
Wow, you just described my wife to a T. Can’t get from A to B without adding ten other letters in between somehow.
I was going to reply that you should look on the bright side–at least you don’t procrastinate but I see Blue Gnu begs to differ. Perhaps if I added the caveat that you don’t procrastinate ON THE THING THAT IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR HEAD then we would be in agreement. Anyhow I echo the sentiment that you do write very well and thinking back to an earlier post about how you didn’t want to become your dad…don’t, but you should do what you’re good at and this is one of those things. As is riding a bike–I’ve raced you, I should know.