Today is not a particularly good day. I can’t exactly explain why; it just feels like I am under a black cloud of angry gloom. One cause of my displeasure is my hair color. I got it ‘adjusted’ yesterday, and I really like it. So, naturally, I am depressed today, because I know for a fact that the color will soon fade and will be impossible to duplicate. The only way to circumvent this tragic loss would be to stop washing my hair entirely, but experience has indicated that I need at least a weekly washing in order to keep my friends.
So the hair thing, among other less tangible complaints, is depressing me. I have actually been contemplating ordering a pizza so that I may drown my sorrows in grease and stringy cheese. If anyone wants to FedEx me a pizza, that would be the cat’s pajamas, but I’m not holding my breath.
However, a little incident occurred a few moments ago that made me laugh. I was sitting at my desk, stuffing carrots and oyster crackers into my mouth (this is the “eat whatever is available while working, regardless of how revolting” phenomenon), when in walked a client for an 11:30 appointment. I swallowed my partially-masticated mouthful and greeted him, offering him a seat in our vast waiting room. I guess my stoic and drawn face led the client to assume that I would not be particularly entertaining, because he immediately began a conversation on his cell phone. He discussed some sort of business, and then moved on to have the following dialogue (obviously, this is a one-sided transcription):
“My uncle went into the hospital yesterday.”
“Well, he is ninety years old, diabetic, and weighs 350 pounds.”
[At this point, I start silently laughing. I know. I’m sick.]
“He’s also got some large lesion on his foot, like my grandfather had.”
[Now I’m practically dying, while also trying to stifle the urge to vomit. Does he not realize that the fact that I am sitting less than four feet away means I can hear EVERY WORD OF HIS CONVERSATION?]
“Yeah. Well, he’s dying.”
The man said this in the same casual tone that I would perhaps use to announce that I was going to step out for a moment to purchase a beverage. At that moment, my boss came out of his office to collect this man, who abruptly ended his scintillating conversation. Despite the fact that he murdered my appetite with his talk of obese old men with foot lesions, I do owe him one for making me smile.